Members dcrouse05 Posted March 17, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 Hi Everyone,My name is Denise and I am new to this group. My 15 year old son Robby died September 11, 2010. He is the youngest of my 5 children. He died on his older brothers 25th birthday, who had just recently returned from Afghanstan. It has been just over 6 months since Robby died and it doesn't get any better, actually worse most days. I have already been through the 1st Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, his birthday and other family members birthdays without him here. I am so tired of hurting, missing him so much and seeing my other children hurting. I have gone to a few different support groups and read a bunch of books on grieving but it doesn't help. Right now I am reading the Shack by Wm. Paul Young and it seems to make me cry a lot but it's also getting hard to put down. It also makes me sad/cry to hear the birds in the morning, seeing a beautiful day, clouds in the sky. Does anyone else feel this way? I guess it's because I know he is missing all of these things. Also when I'm out in public and see babies or young children they seem to look at me or stare and it makes me think of Robby. I also wonder if they share a connection to him since they may of possibly just came from heaven and he just went there. I think a lot of weird things, just wondering if others do the same...Denise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 17, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 Hi Everyone,My name is Denise and I am new to this group. My 15 year old son Robby died September 11, 2010. He is the youngest of my 5 children. He died on his older brothers 25th birthday, who had just recently returned from Afghanstan. It has been just over 6 months since Robby died and it doesn't get any better, actually worse most days. I have already been through the 1st Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, his birthday and other family members birthdays without him here. I am so tired of hurting, missing him so much and seeing my other children hurting. I have gone to a few different support groups and read a bunch of books on grieving but it doesn't help. Right now I am reading the Shack by Wm. Paul Young and it seems to make me cry a lot but it's also getting hard to put down. It also makes me sad/cry to hear the birds in the morning, seeing a beautiful day, clouds in the sky. Does anyone else feel this way? I guess it's because I know he is missing all of these things. Also when I'm out in public and see babies or young children they seem to look at me or stare and it makes me think of Robby. I also wonder if they share a connection to him since they may of possibly just came from heaven and he just went there. I think a lot of weird things, just wondering if others do the same...DeniseHi Denise,I am terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your son, Robby. There are many parents here who have experienced the loss of their precious children, so hopefully they will be able to offer you encouragement and support in this journey. I just want to tell you that we will be here for you.ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmum Posted March 17, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 I think a lot of weird things, just wondering if others do the Hi Denise - I'm Trudi and 4+ years ago my eldest son Micheal died. Yes we do thing a lot of weird things after losing our child. Many if shared in outside might see us residing in the funny farm.I began this journey not wanting to go on. So much was about Mike dying before me, his life not complete, his leaving so much 'undone'. Seeing lives move on only made his dying harder.Now I too look into the faces of young ones, especially Mike's neices and nephews and wonder, do they have a 'connection'. I look at the sunsets and oceans and wonder too if Mike is there, somewhere in the beauty. Please come to the Loss of an Adult child. There are many there who 'think weird things'. Their candor and openess is part of the healing that can be found here.If you are able, please tell us more about Robby's life, pictures help.Take care.....Trudi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members westleysmom Posted March 17, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 Denise-I'm so sorry for your loss. My son Westley died in his sleep last year on Jan 13, 6 days before his would-be 21st birthday. He was my only son and my younger. It has been very hard, my daughter is married and so its just me and my husband. I can't imagine how I would handle it if I had other children still at home because I'm such a mess anymore. I just gave that book to my friend to read, her son died on Jan 1, 12 days before Westley. He was a little younger, only 19 when he died. She couldn't put it down either, but I haven't talked to her since she finished and don't know if she ended up liking it. I think all kinds of crazy stuff anymore, you're as normal as me (and I'm sure that comforts you LOL) Trudi is right, the Loss of Adult Child board has a lot of members that post often and know what you are going through because they've lost a beloved child too. I hope that you will come there and tell us more about Robby and yourself and your family if you want to. We share a lot and cry and laugh and support each other, it has really been a life saver for me. Peace and hugs to you, and I hope you will join us there if you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members charsng1234 Posted March 17, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 Hi Denise my name is Sharon I lost my son on 01/25/2011 he was 22. I have some really bad days and days I can say its just ok. I also look out but do not see the blue sky or white cloude like I used to. I feel guilty alot for being here when my son is not. He will be a father for the first time in mid july, we are having a boy!! I have been coming here for 2 months and everyone on this site listens and helps us through are darkest moments. So if you need a friend to talk to I am here I am still a newbie but I know your pain. schmidtsharon1234@hotmail for who ever wants to talk more. Shanes Mom...Sharon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Annette123 Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Dear DeniseI just joined today and thought I would reply to you. My Grandson Marley left us on 19 December 2010 - He was 6 years old. He just had a tummy ache and then vomiting. We took him to hospital and he was transferred to a different hospital. We don't know what was wrong with him yet. His inquest is on Thursday.It is 92 days since he was taken from us. I also look at other children and want to cry as my little boy isn't here. I haven't had an easy day so far. Every day is an effort. I miss him so much. He was my whole life and now he has gone I don't know where I am going.Annette.Hi Everyone,My name is Denise and I am new to this group. My 15 year old son Robby died September 11, 2010. He is the youngest of my 5 children. He died on his older brothers 25th birthday, who had just recently returned from Afghanstan. It has been just over 6 months since Robby died and it doesn't get any better, actually worse most days. I have already been through the 1st Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, his birthday and other family members birthdays without him here. I am so tired of hurting, missing him so much and seeing my other children hurting. I have gone to a few different support groups and read a bunch of books on grieving but it doesn't help. Right now I am reading the Shack by Wm. Paul Young and it seems to make me cry a lot but it's also getting hard to put down. It also makes me sad/cry to hear the birds in the morning, seeing a beautiful day, clouds in the sky. Does anyone else feel this way? I guess it's because I know he is missing all of these things. Also when I'm out in public and see babies or young children they seem to look at me or stare and it makes me think of Robby. I also wonder if they share a connection to him since they may of possibly just came from heaven and he just went there. I think a lot of weird things, just wondering if others do the same...Denise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Dear DeniseI just joined today and thought I would reply to you. My Grandson Marley left us on 19 December 2010 - He was 6 years old. He just had a tummy ache and then vomiting. We took him to hospital and he was transferred to a different hospital. We don't know what was wrong with him yet. His inquest is on Thursday.It is 92 days since he was taken from us. I also look at other children and want to cry as my little boy isn't here. I haven't had an easy day so far. Every day is an effort. I miss him so much. He was my whole life and now he has gone I don't know where I am going.Annette.Annette,I want to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of Marley. I'm sure the entire family was stunned and devastated beyond words. I am glad you came here, because there are many parents and grandparents who have experienced the loss of their precious children and grandchildren. Feel free to come talk as often as you want to, and tell us all about Marley.ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal Rogerson Posted March 30, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Hello...My name is Crystal. I'm new to this "forum" thing, so please excuse any mistakes. The reason I am here is I lost my daughter Megan on 3/16/04. She would have been 16 the following June. When I first lost her, I ran away from all things familiar. I had been going to school, working 3 jobs and raising her and younger sister. I quit everything! I packed up what would fit in my car and my youngest and we moved to a new state, thinking that we could "run" from this unbearable pain. We started over, but the pain followed us like our shadow. It's been 7 years and I don't know what to do with myself. My youngest daughter moved back and started her own family. I have since remarried, but I find no pleasure in anything. I used to have hobbies and interests, I used to laugh and be energetic. Now I am lethargic and numb. I don't break down like I used to. And this is the first year that she has been gone that I didn't just stay in bed all day on the 16th. My husband says I need to find something to occupy my time, but I have felt like this for so long that I don't even know where to begin. I'm stuck and I don't know how to get unstuck. Any in-put would be greatly appreciated. I miss her so much, but I know she does want me acting this way. Thanks for letting me ramble. Look forward to hearing from anyone. May Love & Light guide us all through the dark days.Annette,I want to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of Marley. I'm sure the entire family was stunned and devastated beyond words. I am glad you came here, because there are many parents and grandparents who have experienced the loss of their precious children and grandchildren. Feel free to come talk as often as you want to, and tell us all about Marley.ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted March 30, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Hello Crystal I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, Megan. You are so right, we can not run from this pain . I have found I must sit with it, share it, own it, and then slowly it began to lift. I lost my only child, Stephen 4 years ago and I know without the support of the wonderful compassionate parents on this Board I would still be very much in that pit and oh so lost. I am glad you found us!!! Please, when you feel up to it, post a picture of Megan and tell us all about her. Her laugh her dreams and her visions. We have a Gallery section on the Board and I find it really helps me to post pictures of Stephen and often when I come and visit I sit with the pictures and cherish the memories.Many parents go directly to the "Loss of Adult Child Board and will miss your posting So, I suggest you click on that portion of the Board and then, click on the top right (add reply) and type your message. You will be warmly welcomed. Please keep coming back you have been alone too long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted March 30, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 hi denise....my name is diane...i am fairly new to this site...i lost my son nathan 9 1/2 weeks ago....to suicide....he was 32 years old....i am devastated...i still cannot leave my home without my husband being with me....i can't check the mail unless i am sure no one is outside. i am stranded in my home, full of guilt, pain, heartache, fears, and drownding in grief....it is not fun, it is not what i signed up for....nathan was such a fun, humorous, active, loving person, hif his depression so well....i honestly don't think that had he known he would have done this kind of permanent damage to his mom, he would not have done what he did.....i will never be the same again....it is unfair to my other 3 children....i am trying to be there for them, but it is virtually impossible at this time. i am too new to this and the pain is too raw....i hope that you will keep coming to the site for adult children....there are so many people there....they help me...wise people with alot to say....the oler ones, the middle ones, the newer ones and brand new ones.....but, which ever group we put ourselves in, we are still in this horrible thing together....all of us have to hold each other up, close to our hearts and remember that we need each other to get through this horrible terrible thing...together we can learn to put one foot in front of the other, somehow....i may not look pretty, nor do i care, but today when i got up, i realized, that i am still breathing...and that's progress...diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crystal Rogerson Posted March 31, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Oh, Betty, Thank you for such a warm welcome. I, too am sorry for your loss of Stephen. When you feel up to it, I would love to hear all about him. I'm not real computer savvy but I will see if I can get some help scanning a picture in. I do (and have) felt so alone through this whole process. I don't talk about myself too much to others, and when I moved out of state, I pretty much lost touch with friends and family,so I have pretty much held it in. And my husband is as understanding as he can be, as he has never had children of his own. He knows that I have a hard time in March and refers to me as having "March Madness". Usually the rest of the year I can hold myself together, but in March the horrible memories rush over me as if I'm reliving them all over again. I don't want to forget my daughter I just want to be able to be a contributing member of society, as I once was. I just don't have the drive anymore. I'm sorry, Betty as this is probably not the place to try and "fix" ourselves, as it is a place to memorialize our loved ones. But I don't know where else to turn. I am glad I found you, as well, as it gives me a glimmer of hope that someone understands me. Thanks for letting me bend your ear. I hope you have a great day, and hope to hear from you again soon. Hello Crystal I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, Megan. You are so right, we can not run from this pain . I have found I must sit with it, share it, own it, and then slowly it began to lift. I lost my only child, Stephen 4 years ago and I know without the support of the wonderful compassionate parents on this Board I would still be very much in that pit and oh so lost. I am glad you found us!!! Please, when you feel up to it, post a picture of Megan and tell us all about her. Her laugh her dreams and her visions. We have a Gallery section on the Board and I find it really helps me to post pictures of Stephen and often when I come and visit I sit with the pictures and cherish the memories.Many parents go directly to the "Loss of Adult Child Board and will miss your posting So, I suggest you click on that portion of the Board and then, click on the top right (add reply) and type your message. You will be warmly welcomed. Please keep coming back you have been alone too long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted March 31, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Dear Crystal It was an honor to connect with you and share a small bit of what has helped me. There are no guarantees on this grief journey but walking the road with like minded others, sharing our inner thoughts, sadness, joy on a daily basis has had far reaching effects for me. Please follow my suggestion to post to the Adult Child Section You will find a multitude of people who will support your efforts. We look at this journey as finding our NEW NORMALYour husband has a good sense of humor "March Madness" made me smile although I know it is not funnyTake Care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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