Still Struggling

[LostGirl39]

Hi everyone. It’s been awhile since I last posted. I wish that I could say that I’m doing better, but I’m not. I feel like my grief & depression are getting worse. Father’s Day ads & whatnots aren’t helping anything either. And to top it off the 5 month anniversary of my love’s death is coming up on Monday. Time is flying but I’m standing still. I haven’t made any significant progress in rebuilding my life either, which just adds to the depression. I don’t go out much anymore because everything just reminds me of him & our life together. I’m trying my hardest to keep it together. Nothing wants to go right. I keep applying for jobs but nothing. I’m doing little side gigs to bring in some money but I need something more substantial. I miss my boyfriend so much. I miss our life together. I wouldn’t be struggling like this if he were still here. We’re supposed to be planning trips & enjoying the summer. 

I’m still not sleeping or eating very well. When I do sleep, I have these weird dreams. I’ve been dreaming of tornadoes lately, which scares me. I dreamed of 2 huge tornadoes over water 2 weeks before my boyfriend had the massive stroke. I can’t take anymore bad news. I guess that the dream represents the chaos & destruction of my life currently. Anyway, just needed to vent. There’s no one else to talk to & my brother & sister-in-law can’t understand what I’m going through. Please say a prayer for me if you can because I’m barely hanging on right now. Thanks for listening.

[Billie Rae]

Oh honey,it is so so hard.I just passed the 5 month Mark and my pain is getting worse,but that's the shock wearing off.
I'm lucky I have a job I love but in the last 3 weeks I've lost my bearing on time.
What gets me through is the promise I made to Charlie,that I would live for him and do my best.
I will keep you in my heart and hope you find a job,it really does give us purpose.
A warm hug to you

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

It took me YEARS to build a life I could live, it takes so much time to process their death, took me about three years just for it to sink in!  It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do,.  There's a lot we can do to aid us, grief counseling, grief support groups, reading books and articles on grief, journaling, all of it helps us with the process.  They say six months out is one of the hardest periods because shock wears off and reality sets in, our "support" kind of dries up.  Of course the timeline will vary from person to person, but it may be what you are feeling right now.  One day at a time, we're there with you, I wish I could give you an in person hug!

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html