why

[danswife]

I lost my husband on march first he died in his sleep at home he was only 28 years old and i just dont understand why!!! this is the hardest thing to deal with so if anyone can hel with this hard time please do

[ModKonnie]

I lost my husband on march first he died in his sleep at home he was only 28 years old and i just dont understand why!!! this is the hardest thing to deal with so if anyone can hel with this hard time please do

Danswifey,

I am very sorry about your tragic loss. I guess there is nothing to say about why other than "Who really knows?" If we knew why, I wonder if it would change things or would it help? I am a spiritual person, so I take comfort in knowing that someone higher than me is in charge, and while I don't know why--He does and in time, I guess I may too. It doesn't exactly ease the pain, but I guess it gives me something to cling to.

Loss is always awful no matter what. Why do they think your husband died? Was he ill? Medication interactions? Aneurism? I wish I could say something that would end your anguish. Just know that there are many people here who have experienced similar tragedies. They will be able to offer you tips, advice and encouragement. We will be here to help you any way we can.

ModKonnie

[danswife]

no he was not ill he recently got put on methadone and they say he overdosed on it even though he took the amount the dr told him he wasnt feelin good so he layed down and the next morning i found him in our bed he was so young and had so much to live for i have four boys that he was like a dad too cuz thier dad died in a car accident in 2008 it just doesnt seem real to any of us yet

[ModKonnie]

no he was not ill he recently got put on methadone and they say he overdosed on it even though he took the amount the dr told him he wasnt feelin good so he layed down and the next morning i found him in our bed he was so young and had so much to live for i have four boys that he was like a dad too cuz thier dad died in a car accident in 2008 it just doesnt seem real to any of us yet

It sounds as though you have certainly had your share of tragedies. How old are your boys? Are you all getting any type of support from family or friends? Do your boys have a counselor to talk to at school? Did your husband have a family? How are they coping?

I know this is so difficult. Try to get through little by little. I always found that it was easier to focus on today and not think about tomorrow because I found it painful. You will start to heal eventually, even though your life is changed, you will find yourself again at some point and be able to move forward.

Until then, we will be here for you

ModKonnie

[danswife]

It sounds as though you have certainly had your share of tragedies. How old are your boys? Are you all getting any type of support from family or friends? Do your boys have a counselor to talk to at school? Did your husband have a family? How are they coping?

I know this is so difficult. Try to get through little by little. I always found that it was easier to focus on today and not think about tomorrow because I found it painful. You will start to heal eventually, even though your life is changed, you will find yourself again at some point and be able to move forward.

Until then, we will be here for you

yes i have been though quite a bit and made it though even stronger. My boys are 7,5,4,3. yes we get support from friends and family. yes the boys have a counselor at school they talk to once a week. Yes my hubby had a family his mom and dad are takin it very hard as is his cousins and aunts everyone is still in shock from the tragic lose of a wonderfull young man i do take it day by day just so dont get overwhelmed with everything . I know i will i have to go on for my boys they need me more then ever right now. thanks for the kind words t does help

[ModKonnie]

I know how difficult this particular time in your grief journey can be. Sometimes, looking forward to something, like a response from a new friend, helps give a glimmer of hope. We all really try hard here to make sure everyone feels welcomed and comfortable.

You have your hands full with such a young crew of children. I have four kids also, but mine are now much older--18, 16, 13, 11. I am glad you have support with his family and yours. That will be a big help, I'm sure.

ModKonnie

[freebird7]

I lost my husband on Feb 9 of this year. He choked to death at a restaurant we were eating at. He literally died right before my eyes. There was nothing I could do....People did come to help.....did the heimleich....cpr...etc until the paramedics came. He was dead before they got him into the ambulance. I know what you're going through. Yesterday was a terrible day for me.....I cried almost all day. Most of the days I'm strong enough to get through but yesterday for some reason it just hit me hard. I know everything happens for a reason and that God needed another angel and it helps to know that my husband is in a much better place then any of us are. I'm sorry to hear of your husbands passing. He was so young. My husband was on methadone for quite a while and he got totally messed up on that stuff. Dont ever take it....guess thats what I'd say to all of you out there. Its not good stuff. It'll cause lots of problems. Just know that with the help of your family...you WILL get through this. I know everyone says to take 1 day at a time...well.........I couldnt so I was told to take 5 seconds at a time and truthfully I didnt know if I'd make it through 5 seconds either....but I did and things are getting better for me. I was married to him for 31 years. Married when I was 19 so I'd never lived alone before. This is all new to me but I'm trying to remain strong. For me....it helps to talk to people about what happened. Dont be ashamed to cry or ask for help. I'm not the type of person to ask for help so it was hard for me but the people I've dealt with are simply wonderful and understanding and they bought me comfort and support. Keep his memory alive....think about all the good times you both had and know that he'll forever be in your heart. I will keep you and your boys in my prayers. Please take care of yourself as well as your boys. They do need you more then ever now and remember.....YOU need them more then ever now as well. God Bless.

[danswife]

thanks for the nice words we were not even married a year he was my best friend and the love of my life im still not sure how im gonna make it though this he was the best husband a woman could ever have he is truly my angel now and always will be i miss hm so much most days i just sit and cry for hours at a time i just wish knew what haen but noone has any answers for me and thats the hardest thing to deal with dans wifey

I lost my husband on Feb 9 of this year. He choked to death at a restaurant we were eating at. He literally died right before my eyes. There was nothing I could do....People did come to help.....did the heimleich....cpr...etc until the paramedics came. He was dead before they got him into the ambulance. I know what you're going through. Yesterday was a terrible day for me.....I cried almost all day. Most of the days I'm strong enough to get through but yesterday for some reason it just hit me hard. I know everything happens for a reason and that God needed another angel and it helps to know that my husband is in a much better place then any of us are. I'm sorry to hear of your husbands passing. He was so young. My husband was on methadone for quite a while and he got totally messed up on that stuff. Dont ever take it....guess thats what I'd say to all of you out there. Its not good stuff. It'll cause lots of problems. Just know that with the help of your family...you WILL get through this. I know everyone says to take 1 day at a time...well.........I couldnt so I was told to take 5 seconds at a time and truthfully I didnt know if I'd make it through 5 seconds either....but I did and things are getting better for me. I was married to him for 31 years. Married when I was 19 so I'd never lived alone before. This is all new to me but I'm trying to remain strong. For me....it helps to talk to people about what happened. Dont be ashamed to cry or ask for help. I'm not the type of person to ask for help so it was hard for me but the people I've dealt with are simply wonderful and understanding and they bought me comfort and support. Keep his memory alive....think about all the good times you both had and know that he'll forever be in your heart. I will keep you and your boys in my prayers. Please take care of yourself as well as your boys. They do need you more then ever now and remember.....YOU need them more then ever now as well. God Bless.

[danswife]

I got my tattoo on friday it is so sad that i had to get a memorial tattoo for my hubby a week before our one year weddin anniversary its so hard to grasp that he is really gone for good going on 3 weeks now and i stilll feel numb and have no reason to go on without him it gets harder and harder everyday

thanks for the nice words we were not even married a year he was my best friend and the love of my life im still not sure how im gonna make it though this he was the best husband a woman could ever have he is truly my angel now and always will be i miss hm so much most days i just sit and cry for hours at a time i just wish knew what haen but noone has any answers for me and thats the hardest thing to deal with dans wifey

[ModKonnie]

I got my tattoo on friday it is so sad that i had to get a memorial tattoo for my hubby a week before our one year weddin anniversary its so hard to grasp that he is really gone for good going on 3 weeks now and i stilll feel numb and have no reason to go on without him it gets harder and harder everyday

Danswifey,

It's a nice tatoo. Please continue to move forward. I know it's unbearable at times, but in time, your pain and anguish will become manageable. You may want to consider talking to a doctor about options for dealing with your grief.

There are people who care about you. We want to be here to support and encourage you.

ModKonnie

[nolene]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancee feb 5, 2008. He died in his sleep from multi drug intoxication. He was 38 years old. I tried to wake him up and even though he felt stiff, I still held out hope they would save him. Afterwads i felt scared all the time, afraid of the dark, afraid to be in the house by myself, afraid to drive alone at night, and afraid to take a bath if no one else was at home. After about a year and a half, little by little all the fears s-l-o-w-l-y started subsiding. It has been 1,161 days since he died, (almost 3 1/2 years) and i relived his last night alive and the events surrounding his death every day up until about 6 months ago. I couldnt help it, those thoughts consumed me every day all day long and there was nothing i could do about it. Grief releases its hold in its own due time. And it changes you forever. It changes the way the sun sets and rises, it changes the way birds sing. You will be lost for a long time, but you will get through this. I wish there was something i could say to make you feel better, but having been where you are at after only a month... there are no such words.