Members freebird7 Posted March 4, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 Its been alittle over 3 weeks now and I miss him so much. Why is it I realize that I love him more "AFTER" hes gone??? I never got a chance to say good bye. He choked to death eating at a restaurant with me. He never struggled....gasped for air...coughed or spoke and I still remember the look on his face as he shook his head no....he wasnt ok when I asked him. I work at a health care center and saw the paramedics there a few days ago and I totally freaked out. It brought back the memories of that afternoon in the restaurant. I feel so alone but thankfully I have my family giving me comfort and support and their help is amazing. I know I'll get through this and I'm trying to be strong but I miss him so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 4, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 4, 2011 Its been alittle over 3 weeks now and I miss him so much. Why is it I realize that I love him more "AFTER" hes gone??? I never got a chance to say good bye. He choked to death eating at a restaurant with me. He never struggled....gasped for air...coughed or spoke and I still remember the look on his face as he shook his head no....he wasnt ok when I asked him. I work at a health care center and saw the paramedics there a few days ago and I totally freaked out. It brought back the memories of that afternoon in the restaurant. I feel so alone but thankfully I have my family giving me comfort and support and their help is amazing. I know I'll get through this and I'm trying to be strong but I miss him so much.Freebird,I am very sorry to hear about your husband. What an awful ordeal to live through. It just doesn't seem possible that people can pass that quickly, does it? You will get through this, but it will take time. I am so glad you have support and comfort. Do you have any children? If so, how are they doing? what about his parents? Come share with us the story of his life when you are up to it. We'd love to hear about the love of your life. ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrsrobertmayfield Posted March 5, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 Its been alittle over 3 weeks now and I miss him so much. Why is it I realize that I love him more "AFTER" hes gone??? I never got a chance to say good bye. He choked to death eating at a restaurant with me. He never struggled....gasped for air...coughed or spoke and I still remember the look on his face as he shook his head no....he wasnt ok when I asked him. I work at a health care center and saw the paramedics there a few days ago and I totally freaked out. It brought back the memories of that afternoon in the restaurant. I feel so alone but thankfully I have my family giving me comfort and support and their help is amazing. I know I'll get through this and I'm trying to be strong but I miss him so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrsrobertmayfield Posted March 5, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2011 I'm sorry. I wish with all my heart I didn't know how you feel but I do. I lost my husband January 25th. I kissed him good bye as I did every morning and watched him drive away to go to work. The hospital called right when he should have been walking through the door to come home. He had had a heart attack at work. I needed to come right away. He never regained consciencness. So I clung to him until 7:28 the next morning pleading with him to came back to me. 30 years and 2 weeks. That's how long we had been married. They say it will get better. I hope so. I hope it helps you to know you're really not alone. There's a sisterhood. One none of us ever want to be a part of but if you end up in the family there is a strong heart connection. I ache for you because I know how desperately you hurt. You will laugh again I promise and eventually we'\ll both know it's what our husbands would want us to do. In the mean time though it just really sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members freebird7 Posted March 7, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Thank you for your replies and for bringing me some comfort. He and I have a blended family. He was married once before and has 2 sons and together we have another son. I was married to him for 31 years...it would have been 32 years on March 23 of this year. He died 9 days before he'd have turned 63 so he'll forever be 62. His birthday came and went and I wished him Happy Birthday in my own special way. Its good to know that I'm not alone in this and it brings comfort to hear from others that have gone through this terrible thing. I know I must remain strong but its so hard. I want him back but I know thats not possible and I know hes probably better off then any of us are right here on earth....at least thats what I like to think. The children and grandchildren are all doing fine....we have each other to help so thats always a good thing. A new chapter of my life has begun but I never thought I'd be a widow at 51. He was 11 years older then I. I've attached a pic of him. Hes the 1 on the left. Thank you again for all the comfort and support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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