He Should Be Here

[Fmf]

My husband was a chef/chef educator.  He was involved in many organizations and was totally dedicated to his teaching as a Pastry Instructor at the college level.  Tonight I will be attending another event where he will be honored in some manner.  While as his wife its wonderful to hear all the great things people have to say I just cant help but think he should be here, he should be hearing these things.  Over the past two and almost 1/2 months I have heard over and over about what a wonderful person he was, what a dedicated teacher he was.  I know all of these he was committed to any organizations he was involved in and was a very dedicated to his students.  I know he spent more time at work than he did with our family, but that was how it always was.  From when we first met and he was pastry chef and a high end restaurant.  That is who he was, a man who always told it to you straight but would be the first one to help wherever it was needed and would always have your back. I spoke to a friend of his the other day and talked about how he might have been married to me, but  I really shared him with everyone, this included right up until the end where I let anyone and everyone who wanted to see him, visit him in the ICU.  People were shocked by my willingness to share his last hours but that was how he lived his life so it was only fitting his death should end in that manner.  I'm not sure where I was going with this post just that if this has taught me anything its to appreciate the people around us and let them know how we feel, instead of others hearing it all after we are gone.  He should be here! He should be hearing what an impact he has made, I am most appreciative to be hearing these things, but of course would love if he was here to share the moments.

[KayC]

It always seems to be this way...people say lovely things about them at their memorial services but did they say them to them when they were alive?  I'm glad your husband is having his glory from others but I wish, like you, it would have been before rather than now so he could hear it and realize their admiration and appreciation.  

You are a lovely person to have understood and shared him with so many.  I hope you find some comfort tonight as you listen to his impact on others.  I hope he is right there with you, hearing these things.

 (((hugs)))