Members Cdawn75 Posted February 14, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 My Son Clinton Passed away july 15, 2009 he was 15 years old. So many Emotions have emerged in and out of my body for the past 19 months. My Son And My Daughter ( she was 17 at the time ) and 3 other friends decided to tell us parents he was staying at a friends house, visa versa so they could spend time among themselves i guess. I was sound alseep at 1:15 am. My daughter Jenna then 11 woke me up yelling that my daughter Andi was on the phone. I asked what does she need. Jenna responded she is crying and yelling saying they lost Clinton ( my Son) in the river. I was dazed and confused, i took the phone and asked "what do you mean you lost him in the river". She said the police and rescue crew are looking for him. Still dazed and confused i get dressed and in a panic drive the 20 miles it was where my mom lived. Which is the town they were spending the night with friends. I remember screaming and yellin on the phone to my husband who stayed laying in bed and said to call me when i got there and found out what was going on. i Dont know. i came up over the hill and seen all these lights. I was instantly in disbelief. I thought maybe when my daughter was yelling and crying that it was something other then they lost my son IN the water. That was a long wait for them to recover his body. I remember seeeing them finally pushing the cart to the ambulance. by this time my husband had arrrived. I had a glimps of him thru a clear body bag and just lost it. I had to make my husband go over there. He had been in thje water since 1:08 Am .....that was the 911 call time.. They recovered him at 4ish? not sure. Then he is where my self blame comes into play. I know i should not blame myself, but these children had broke into a store. Stole 5 bottles of liquor and were completely drunk. My 2 children and the other 3 decided they wanted to go take a swim in the river. This river so happened to be the mouth of where 2 rivers meet together to become one before entering into the mississippi. The current there is aweful. These kids knew this , alcohol lead them to make poor choices. But ultimately the hole night was in my hands. I keep running through my head. What could i have done to prevent this. I should have told them they couldnt go spend the night with friends. I let them leave, would my son still be alive had i made him stay home that night? Then i think i could have lost my 17yo daughter that night as well.What was i thinking? My grieving process has prolly not been the best , i divorced my husband ......left the 3 younger kids with him for the first yr after. I feared for the safety of them, i couldnt keep their brother a live how can i trust myself in taking care of more kids. They are now with me again living for the past 3 months. I've been dealing pretty good. However Clintons 17th birthday is in 2 days. Feb 16. I am struggling today. I want him back so bad. I want to hear his voice, feel his hugs, see his face. My heart is ripping apart into pieces today. And i cant make it stop! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.