Another Day

[LeannC45]

I have to admit that Valentines Day with all of it's focus on love and couples is bothering me today. I miss my husband every single day and today really is no different other then the constant reminder that I am alone. I no longer have my person that cared about where I was and how I was doing every day for almost 18 years. Of course I have friends and family that I matter to but it is not the same. My son keeps telling me to get out and do things but it isn't that simple. Even though I know it is time to incorporate something social just to be around people, I don't know what that is yet. I guess in time things will become clearer to me, or maybe not. The last year had me spinning, my mind was blurry and my heart was broken. Now that I am starting to put together clear thoughts I am trying to push a little bit at a time. I love, love so I am happy for people that have someone to celebrate with. I just wish I had my honey. I will try something different today and stop wishing another day that brings me pain away. I will just try to live in today knowing that it will pass and I will be okay. 

[Billie Rae]

Sweet one that last line is perfect.To know in your heart that you will be okay.Its true you know we will all be okay as long as we keep reaching out even if it's just this one place.I wish all a good day...Not v day but each day.Love Billie Rae

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

22 hours ago, LeannC45 said:

I will just try to live in today knowing that it will pass and I will be okay.

Yep!  A good motto for all of us to post in front of us!  Thanks, Leann.

[Sunflower2]

23 hours ago, LeannC45 said:

I will just try to live in today knowing that it will pass and I will be okay. 

You have this wisdom and belief. xo 

You will know just when it is that time to engage in newness. 

[foreverhis]

For the past 6 weeks, I have had Thursday TV watching evenings with a neighbor who is becoming a friend.  There's a Canadian show we both like that she can't get the past 3 seasons on her streaming, but I can.  She is one of the first people who I have let into my life at all who is not part of my very small tight circle of family-friends.

She is single (divorced) and actually knew my husband better than she knew me until recently because he sometimes helped her with garden projects and such.  He loved helping people.  Yesterday, she did exactly right by making no mention of Valentine's day and simply treating it as another Thursday.  She had made sure I was good with doing our usual simple-supper, glass of wine, watch TV for a couple of hours evening, which I appreciated.  Another neighbor who is also becoming a friend stopped by with some local honey she'd told me about.  She made no mention of Valentine's day, but "just happened" to need to stop by with the honey.  I thought it was a very kind way of making sure I wasn't completely losing it yesterday.

I have to admit I'm glad the whole hearts and flowers Valentine's deal is finished for this year.

[LeannC45]

2 hours ago, foreverhis said:

For the past 6 weeks, I have had Thursday TV watching evenings with a neighbor who is becoming a friend.  There's a Canadian show we both like that she can't get the past 3 seasons on her streaming, but I can.  She is one of the first people who I have let into my life at all who is not part of my very small tight circle of family-friends.

She is single (divorced) and actually knew my husband better than she knew me until recently because he sometimes helped her with garden projects and such.  He loved helping people.  Yesterday, she did exactly right by making no mention of Valentine's day and simply treating it as another Thursday.  She had made sure I was good with doing our usual simple-supper, glass of wine, watch TV for a couple of hours evening, which I appreciated.  Another neighbor who is also becoming a friend stopped by with some local honey she'd told me about.  She made no mention of Valentine's day, but "just happened" to need to stop by with the honey.  I thought it was a very kind way of making sure I wasn't completely losing it yesterday.

I have to admit I'm glad the whole hearts and flowers Valentine's deal is finished for this year.

The friendships you are forming sound like just what I need. Today out of the blue and old friend reached out to me. She said she has been trying to find me for a long time. What a blessing! She was a good friend long ago but life got in the way & we lost touch. It is peculiar how tragedy shines a light on what's truly important. Take stock in all the people you have in your life and all that you are RIGHT NOW, is what the universe in all it's wisdom is showing me. Loved your share, thank you.

[Pim]

On 2/15/2019 at 9:22 PM, foreverhis said:

Yesterday, she did exactly right by making no mention of Valentine's day and simply treating it as another Thursday.  She had made sure I was good with doing our usual simple-supper, glass of wine, watch TV for a couple of hours evening, which I appreciated.  Another neighbor who is also becoming a friend stopped by with some local honey she'd told me about.  She made no mention of Valentine's day, but "just happened" to need to stop by with the honey.  I thought it was a very kind way of making sure I wasn't completely losing it yesterday.

What a great friend and what a great neighbour! I had a similar experience. A friend of mine came over for dinner and he brought with him a small pot containing some bulbs. I hope they will blossom next week. It's a nice way of celebrating Valentine's day without rubbing in the fact that your "Valentine" has gone.

 

[foreverhis]

2 hours ago, Pim said:

What a great friend and what a great neighbour! I had a similar experience. A friend of mine came over for dinner and he brought with him a small pot containing some bulbs. I hope they will blossom next week. It's a nice way of celebrating Valentine's day without rubbing in the fact that your "Valentine" has gone.

Pim, that is wonderful.  The thought of those bulbs blossoming and brightening your world makes me smile.  I'm glad you also had the kind of support we need to make it through the worst days.

[KayC]

Leann, I'm glad your old friend reached out to you!

I was able to get out yesterday to be with my Friday ladies group...today I am snowed in again, heavy sludge that will be hard to shovel, ugh, not looking forward to it.

Pim, how nice to get the bulbs!  I hope they bloom beautifully!

foreverhis, Your neighbors sound wonderful!  I'm glad you're able to forge a friendship with this lady, it helps to have something to look forward to.

[Sunflower2]

17 hours ago, LeannC45 said:

The friendships you are forming sound like just what I need. Today out of the blue and old friend reached out to me. She said she has been trying to find me for a long time. What a blessing! She was a good friend long ago but life got in the way & we lost touch. It is peculiar how tragedy shines a light on what's truly important. Take stock in all the people you have in your life and all that you are RIGHT NOW, is what the universe in all it's wisdom is showing me. Loved your share, thank you.

People and new friendships are inspiring and needed not just through this journey but in life.  My friends and the new ones that the universe is sending have been my strength and inspiration.  They have been my light. That human physical connection is necessary.  These connections feed our soul and support our shattered heart. They acknowledge my journey yet they add that flair of newness in just the right dosage.  

The most interesting component is that none of them have experienced a loss of this magnitude.  Telling my story over and over is not part of my personal recovery.  Carrying his energy and connecting with good energy is my journey even in my dark moments. Yes the journey is hard. Too hard sometimes. Too overwhelming sometimes.  We survive. 

I follow their light.  I need their light. They just naturally feel my energy that represents "us" as I inch forward solo but with wings. They have become "the wind beneath my wings."

With warm thoughts for all those beginning this journey and for us that are somewhat beyond those raw painful initial moments of that loss.

[Pim]

On 2/16/2019 at 5:14 PM, Sunflower2 said:

I follow their light.  I need their light. They just naturally feel my energy that represents "us" as I inch forward solo but with wings. They have become "the wind beneath my wings."

With warm thoughts for all those beginning this journey and for us that are somewhat beyond those raw painful initial moments of that loss.

That is just so beautifully spoken.

 

[LeannC45]

1 hour ago, Sunflower2 said:

People and new friendships are inspiring and needed not just through this journey but in life.  My friends and the new ones that the universe is sending have been my strength and inspiration.  They have been my light. That human physical connection is necessary.  These connections feed our soul and support our shattered heart. They acknowledge my journey yet they add that flair of newness in just the right dosage.  

The most interesting component is that none of them have experienced a loss of this magnitude.  Telling my story over and over is not part of my personal recovery.  Carrying his energy and connecting with good energy is my journey even in my dark moments. Yes the journey is hard. Too hard sometimes. Too overwhelming sometimes.  We survive. 

I follow their light.  I need their light. They just naturally feel my energy that represents "us" as I inch forward solo but with wings. They have become "the wind beneath my wings."

With warm thoughts for all those beginning this journey and for us that are somewhat beyond those raw painful initial moments of that loss.

Awe, so well said. I was thinking about the joy I had as a child with my friends and family. It really doesn't take a bunch of people to get what you need. I can get the light, inspiration and love from my family and the couple good friends I have. Some how through this journey I have lost people that I thought would stand next to me but what has been revealed is true friendships. Some unexpected like the friend that just reached out to me and some that I thought tried and true that are no where to be found. This journey is layered and complicated in so many ways. I have enjoyed hearing about the people that make a difference to all of us. Thank you.

[JES]

@Sunflower2   Very beautifully said, and an inspiration to us all. Thankyou.