Members Cora S. Posted January 31, 2019 Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2019 I just recently lost my mom. She was a single parent and I was her only child. I am an adult but was somewhat dependent on her. I was learning my own independence. She passed suddenly and I am at a loss. I live with my grandmother. My mom was my rock and everything. I don't know how to deal with this. I know she is in heaven and I am so happy for her, but this hurts so much. My mom had Guilian Barre Syndrom back in 2009 that left her temporarily paralized. She recovered but had residual effects. Her diaphragm has never strong after that. Yesterday Jan 30 she stopped breathing. We called an ambulance and she was taken to the ER but I guess on the way there her heart stopped. The staff at the hospital couldn't revive her and she died. She was 49. I am 31. She has been my rock, support and comfort my whole life. I don't know my dad. I feel so sad, sadness I can't express. I am exhausted but I know I won't be able to sleep. She was the only person I ever felt truly comfortable to be myself. My mom and I lived with my grandma and I am still with her today. I suffer from a bipolar disorder and anxeity. I have never worked. Since it was so recently I don't know if I'm still in shock. I have strong faith and I know she is in heaven right now and she is beautiful. I miss her so much. I keep thinking of things I can tell her but then I remember she's not here. I feel like I will never have the same sense of humor again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nuvar Posted February 1, 2019 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 hi Cora. sorry for your loss. i am near your age and i lost my mum 5 months ago after a long torturous hospital stay which is still making me very guilty. i can understand your pain. im also an only child and taking care of my dad who has alzheimers. i can understand as my mum was my rock, my soulmate and my best friend. she has been the pillar of support and glue and anchor for our family of 3. now shes gone and im struggling too. u need time to think through and slowly move on. it may take weeks or months for u to be able to gather your thoughts. do take care, try to eat normal, sleep normal, rest normal and go for walks. talk to people who care, start with light activities to get away from home at times. im sure your mum knows that u love her and want u to take steps to grow stronger. it will take time for sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Cora S. Posted February 1, 2019 Author Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 Thank you for your kind words. I'm not really able to articulate my feelings well right now but I know what my mom would of wanted for me for the future. Thank you for your suggestions. Hearing from people who have gone through similar things is very comforting. I know we all go through the same things in life -- happiness, pain, etc., just at different times. I'm very sorry for your loss. I think admitting you're not okay sometimes is okay. We should allow ourselves to feel every emotion and accept that these emotions are valid. Please know that you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted February 2, 2019 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2019 Dear Cora, I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know losing a parent is devastating. Please know you are not alone. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nuvar Posted February 2, 2019 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2019 Feel free to reply to this thread if you need someone to read and respond, Cora. Yes it's ok to admit we are not ok, especially when something major and unfortunate hits. It does not merely get you down at that very moment but you slowly reel in feeling the effects of sadness, loneliness and perhaps even guilt. Try to do a little bit of something each day. You can do something in remembrance of her like growing a new potted plant, doing something she liked, or something she would have liked you to do. Go for a little walk, connect with old friends or new friends... seek help from your community, relatives or trained counselors/psychiatrists/psychologists. I can understand it's impossible to move on right away. You need to find the direction yourself and start doing little things everyday, it's ok to grief and think of your mum but do remember to set time for yourself. You know she's watching and she would want you to become a stronger person in all aspects of your life. I talk to my mum too, and I cry. Then I remember what she would say when Im sad. My mum told me before when I was younger - if you keep crying, it will make me sad. If you keep crying, how do you work (as in focus on the things u set out to do)? Do it for yourself... do it for her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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