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The Worst Day of My Life 1-11-19


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January 11, 2019. The most devastating day of my entire life. This is the day the foundation of my family crumbled, this is the day where our lives changed forever. We lost the man we loved most in this world - all in the blink of an eye.


My mom lost her best friend of 43 years and the love her life. She won’t be celebrating her best friends 55th birthday (which was today 1-26-19) or her 30th year of marriage this year. My brother lost his name sake. He lost a great source of strength, advice, wisdom and knowledge. I lost my idol, my protection, my comfort, and so much more. The rest of my family lost their son, their younger brother, their brother in law, and their uncle. Others lost a genuine friend, a wise mentor, and a seasoned colleague. My dad played so many critical roles in all of our lives, so it’s safe to say we lost our everything.


The truth is, I haven’t slept properly and I’m barely able to stomach anything. The realization and pain at this point seems to reset in the morning and what I hope to find is a terrible dream is actually just my new reality. From then, the sadness just hits in waves. I’ll be fine for one minute, but then the next I feel like I’m about to collapse. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I distract myself, or what I do. It’s hovering over me, like a dark cloud ready to downpour at any minute. Everything has and continues to happen so quickly, making this so much more difficult to process and overcome.


Out of all this pain and sorrow though, I will say there is some silver lining. Although he died unexpectedly, he didn’t suffer and now he’s forever at peace. That’s all everyone can ever wish for and I thank God for that. I also want to say that the amount of love, support, condolences, prayers, and other forms of warm communication has helped us in indescribable ways. I have been able to witness and accomplish things that I didn’t even think I could ever do. It gives me hope knowing that my support system is so great in so many areas of my life, and for that I know me and my family are truly blessed.


The future seems scary and unknown, and I’m trying to brace myself for the hardships that lay ahead. But if it’s one thing my immediate family has always had (that my dad worked hard to instill in us) is that our bond as a family unit is so strong and that we can get through anything together. I want to believe that everything will be okay and that everything will fall into place for us. At this point, all I know is that I gained yet another guardian angel. I miss him more than words can describe.



Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

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Dear chrissydee,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that everything you are thinking and feeling is natural and normal during such a sad and difficult time. Losing a beloved parent is one of life's hardest moments.

Please know we are all with you. For additional supports, I find these websites helpful:

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Grief Healing Blog


Grief Recovery Method.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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