26 and lost my father. I am tired of the disbelief

[YoungButDailyGrowin']

I will make the back story as short as possible. 

I live(d) with my father and sister. My father had gotten bladder cancer in late 17', was told he had beaten it around November. April of 18' rolls around and he is vomiting again. He goes to the hospital, they find nothing. Countless trips later he is told he has stage for colon cancer. He died in October.

I took care of him. I helped him with basic tasks, I was always there for him. Whatever he needed - my sister and I were right by his side. He had a girlfriend who essentially destroyed our relationship. When she came along (about 6 months before he got his first diagnosis) she would non-stop talk about money. What happened if he died? Would she get a house?

I think he kept her by because his confidence was torn. She wanted him for his money and he wanted her in fear of loneliness. 

In the final days of cancer I could see her excitement peaking. Saying we needed to talk with a big smile on her face and saying "We need to plan!". This was code for "What am I getting? We don't have much time."

I have finally gotten her out of my fathers house. It's not paid off, I am sure I will be moving once the estate is settled. I sit her in shock. I cannot believe his is gone. I am the most silent, yet angry I have ever been in my life. It makes no sense. I just wish the belief was real. 

 

[Heart&Soul]

I am so sorry for your loss and everything you and your sister have gone through.  I hate this cancer.  It has taken away so many good people and robbed them of their dreams.  Your dad's girl friend sounds like a horrible person only concerned about what she is going to get.  Hopefully you won't have to deal with her anymore.  Take care of yourself and your sister.  Big hug.

[reader]

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am so sorry for your devastating loss. It is horrible shock to lose a beloved parent. I'm sorry your dad's girlfriend is adding to your pain and sorrow.  Hopefully she will get nothing from the estate.

Please know you are not alone. And if you want to, consider getting more supports in the community or through church. Also these websites offer support as well.

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Grief Healing Blog

Thinking of you during this very sad and difficult time.