Members bealison Posted February 1, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Anyone here agnostic? Believes their child is gone forever? I'm having a very hard time finding people with similar (non) spiritual beliefs. My only daughter died at the age of 27 almost 3 years ago....we were close like sisters (I was 19 when she was born)and got on great -- very compatible and she never gave me any trouble. And because of her (not supposed to be terminal) illness, we lived together until the day she died. The morning she was finally going to move into her own apartment and gain some independence was when I found her dead in bed. After the shock, I became emotionally numb and unable to experience joy or happiness, knowing all my best days are behind me and I'll never have grandchildren. I'm single and have no interest in any romantic relationships. My family and friends and my ex (a liberal, secular bunch) are incredibly supportive and I don't know what I'd do without them, but I yearn for an exchange with someone in a similar situation. I make no judgments about people's beliefs and how they grieve, but for me I don't believe my baby is an angel or that I will ever see her again. Anybody relate to this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4everjoeysmom Posted February 8, 2011 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 I'm so very sorry for your loss! I can't really relate to the agnostic thing, because I have always felt there is something beyond here, something greater than just my random existence. But I can totally relate to many of the things you shared, and the desperation in the panic attacks that ensue and engulf me when I begin to think of my Joey being gone. I will never see him graduate with his BS or Masters, or get married, or have children, yet I dream all the time of what that would be like today. He has been gone 4-1/2 years, and with him went my first real love, my teacher of unconditional love, my son, my friend. He was 1 week from being 24. I can't say that I can give you exactly what you are seeking in a connection here regarding your non-spiritual desire. But in any regard, I did want to tell you how very sorry I am for your devastating loss. If you should desire to connect further and without judgment, I will be ever privileged to listen and give what I can that would be useful to you. xoxo ~Claudia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sskaren Posted April 2, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 I have similar feelings. When my little girl was ill, I was convinced that God would intervene and she would be saved. The Bible told me all I had to do was ask. I asked. Because of several "signs" and literature, I was sure that Cassidy would survive. I actually put her through very difficult medical procecures, because I felt that to give up would show a loss of faith and I had to prove my faith to save her. (I know, sounds crazy, and I'm usually pretty level headed) I lost my daughter and have come to the conclusion that either there is no God or he is very distant and uncaring. People do not want to hear this, so I usually keep it to myself. I quietly accept people's attempt at comfort with religious reassurance, but I cannnot follow through when people ask for prayers, etc. I go on, because I have other children and have no choice. It has gotten easier with time, but of course it is still there. I cannot allow myself too much time to think of Cassidy and what happened, because I have to try to remain "normal" for my other children. I don't know that anything I am saying is helpful to you. Perhaps just knowing you are not alone in your thoughts/beliefs may help. I know it seems most parentls I have spoken to who have lost a child rely heavily on their faith and I do not have that. You are in my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members florentine Posted April 8, 2011 Members Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 I struggle with this, too. Sometimes I think people just believe in God, Heaven, survival after death because the thought of nothing there is just too great to bear. I have no answers for you (or for myself). I just wanted you to know that others feel the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members luvvanurse Posted August 7, 2011 Members Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 i agree, i see no proof of heaven, god, etc. i find so few people that feel this way although i understand people have the right to believe if thats what is right for them. its comforting there are others out there thay feel the same way i do. i am new (today) to this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members maga Posted August 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted August 21, 2011 Anyone here agnostic? Believes their child is gone forever? I'm having a very hard time finding people with similar (non) spiritual beliefs. My only daughter died at the age of 27 almost 3 years ago....we were close like sisters (I was 19 when she was born)and got on great -- very compatible and she never gave me any trouble. And because of her (not supposed to be terminal) illness, we lived together until the day she died. The morning she was finally going to move into her own apartment and gain some independence was when I found her dead in bed. After the shock, I became emotionally numb and unable to experience joy or happiness, knowing all my best days are behind me and I'll never have grandchildren. I'm single and have no interest in any romantic relationships. My family and friends and my ex (a liberal, secular bunch) are incredibly supportive and I don't know what I'd do without them, but I yearn for an exchange with someone in a similar situation. I make no judgments about people's beliefs and how they grieve, but for me I don't believe my baby is an angel or that I will ever see her again. Anybody relate to this?Hello, Friend. I highly recommend a group that I just found today called Grief Beyond Belief.This group and Grief Beyond Belief are real blessings to me- from the Universe-at 19 1/2 months since my beauty left.Here is the link to their FB page:https://www.facebook...support?sk=wallI think we can all use all the real support we can get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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