when will grief hit?

[mummyof433]

My darling mother passed away 4th December and although I have cried when she passed and at her funeral, I can't grieve as I can't accept she is really gone. When will it finally hit?

[tessa]

Hi mummof433, from what I have read, there is no normal when it comes to grieving. Everyone has a different experience, some have breakdowns, others don't grieve at all. There is no normal.
I didn't grieve when my father passed but I am still having difficulties losing my mother. It's not because I didn't love my father. I was actually closer to my father than my mother. But my father had been ill for a couple of years so I expected it and I think that is why I didn't grieve.
There are some cultures that don't grieve at all. Grieving isn't something that we all have to go through. It is just as normal to not grieve as it is to grieve.
In answer to your question, grief may never hit at all or it may come when something triggers a memory.

[Nicole-my grief journey]

Sending a lot of love your way. My mom passed at the end of July. I have cried, celebrated her, memorialized her, cried again, made it through my birthday without her and her birthday after that, I have lit candles and tried to sort some of her things...feeling sadness and sometimes calm throughout... and then last couple of days it really hit me again like it just happened. So, I don’t think there is an exact point. It’s a process and a rollercoaster. It’s different for everyone. Sending hugs and my empathy your way. 

[reader]

Dear mummyof433,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. It is different for all of us. I think grief is not a linear experience. The important thing is not to judge yourself harshly. Whatever you feel is natural and normal. And the feelings might come in stages or not at all.

Thinking of you.