Lost both parents 2 years apart. My story.

[LydiaLove]

I'm new here. Currently 38 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child & feeling depressed. This time of year is extra hard. 

Some background on my loss: My mom passed away 5 days after being taken off life support. This was August 12, 2015. I was 26 years old and 6 months pregnant at the time. She had been in the hospital since June. When most people who are unfamiliar with life support think of their loved one being taken off that, I bet they imagine their loved one passing within an hour or day. That's what I thought would happen. I didn't realize it would basically be 5 days of her laying there while the body starves & shuts down & eventually dies. That's what happened to my mom, my angel. 

My dad stayed depressed for the next two years before accidentally overdosing on opiods in June of 2017. He was strong... he didn't pass away until September 4, 2017. When he first went to the hospital in June by ambulance, they put him on a ventilator in the ICU right away. Same ICU as my mom. He came off it after 2 weeks & was alert for a couple hours. I thought he was going to pull thru. But then he didn't & went back on the ventilator. When he came off it again he just wasn't the same. He had a brain injury from lack of oxygen when he initially overdosed. He went to a rehabilitation center to try to learn to walk & function again. I knew he was dying. He was there for about a month when they released him due to no progress in his physical therapy. He would forget Mom was dead. Sometimes he didn't know who I was. He was released into my care where I took him home to my house to take care of him. He couldn't go back to his house & take care of himself.

After a week of him being with me & having no progress with the speech, swallowing & physical therapists who came to my home for his sessions, I called hospice. I knew he was dying, like I said before. 

When most people think of hospice they think of a nurse doing care around the clock. Atleast that's what I thought. The nurses only come a few times a week, for a max of 30 minutes. I was the one changing my dad's diapers, hiving him his meds, checking on him all thru the day & night. I quit my job before he came to our house, because he needed around the clock care. My son was 5 & we cleared his room out & so my dad could have his room. He had a hospital bed & needed his own space. 

During the month he was with us, the last month he was alive, he kept asking where Mom was & he had symptoms of Alzheimer's due to the brain injury. He would sometimes look out the window & ask me who the woman was in the backyard. There was no woman. 

On the morning of his death, I just knew it was going to be that day. A daughter has instincts. I sat with him while my kids ran around the house playing. I played him songs & kept him as comfortable as I could. I watched him take his last breath just before noon. 

I was relieved but also sad. Then came the funeral planning & taking care of the business side of death. 

I do have an amazingly supportive husband, who was by my side during both deaths. I was on antidepressants & anti anxiety meds before I became pregnant. I just really can't wait to have this baby so I can get back on something. This will be my 2nd daughter that my mom will never meet. I had voicemails from both my parents saved but when I got a new phone I lost them. 

I wish I could just pick up the phone & call my parents. It would be so good just to hear their voices again. 

[tessa]

Dear Lydia, Thank-you for your story.