My dad died and I want to die

[Natalie13]

My dad just passed away a week ago on Thanksgiving. He has been a paraplegic for almost my whole life, 32 years and I lived every day watching him struggle to do simple every day tasks everyone else takes for granted. Over the last several years, he has gotten a lot of wounds/infections that just would not heal, no matter what he would do. He was in the hospital almost 6 months with multiple infections, blood, bone, UTI, kidney, etc etc etc. Seeing him decline has been so hard. On Thanksgiving I had to call 911 because he was having a hard time breathing. He ended up passing at 10:30 pm from septic shock. I take comfort in knowing that I was with him his last moments and he wasn't alone. That I got to be with him when he was released from his pain. But I want to die with him. I don't want to go on with out him. He is the main #1 reason I stayed around for as long as I did. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost.