Life Insurance

[Vivace50494]

Just got a phone call asking me to meet with the insurance carrier for the life insurance policy my partner had; and for whom I am the only beneficiary.  He wouldn’t respond when I asked if there was a problem.  I’m freaking out because I need that money to get me through this transition.  I don’t mean to sound shallow.  Believe me, I’d rather have Patrick back.  I just don’t know how much more pain I can take.  All these decisions that have to be made and I can’t do this alone.  I can’t go on like this.  Please pray for me.  I feel like my life is spinning out of control and I can’t cope.  It’s only been two weeks since Patric died.  How can that be?  The pain would lead me to believe it’s been so much longer.

also, I’m really stupid when it comes to technology.  How do I post updates to my own listing and how do I respond to other posts?

[HPB]

Dear @Vivace50494

I'm very sorry than in addition to your painful loss you have to deal with all these administrative issues where there seems not to be any own power left. This initial phase of shock and numbness makes thinking very hard and impossible at times.

Is there any chance that you could get some support from the social service of the county or city you are living in to get the neccessary duties and issues done? If you can't reach out directly to the authorities/social service to help you, then try to ask a friend or a neighbor to possibly assist you; there are good people out there willing to help.

I just prayed for you that you will find some way to go through this period of desperation.

Concerning posting and responding to your own thread: You have to go all the way to the bottom of the page (just below the last post that was made from somebody in response to your message). There you find a window (with your avatar "V" symbol on the left) where you can type in your response message to the people. Click on "Submit Reply" to finalize. If you want to address somebody with their name, then start the name with a @ and continue typing in the respective name of the person. You will see that below the @ there will be a dropdown menu opening where you can find and click on the name of the person. If you do that correctly, then the name will be marked with blue color like this @Vivace50494 . If you want to change something in your posted message (e.g. typos), you also have the possibility to "Edit" the message, make corrections to your text, and then "Safe" the message again for display. The Edit and Safe buttons are below your posted text (when you are logged in only).

Don't desperate, doing one thing at a time, and with some external support, you can survive this terrible time!

 

 

[ForgetMeNot150]

Hi @Vivace50494

Having an insurance policy payout is one of the very few positive things about our situation and you don't sound shallow at all saying that it will help you out. It was life-changing for us to get that money and would have been so much more stressful without it, so I totally understand what you mean because I too would have traded it all for Craig back instead.

Try not to worry about the meeting, as what we can imagine can be infinitely worse than what will be! Getting through all the paperwork and letting all the proper authorities know was exhausting for me, so I know what you're going through. It takes so much energy just to say out loud that they have died and to be able to explain what you need to do. 

Life will be so different now from what is was before Patrick passed and it will take time for you to adjust and get used to your new normal. Go easy on yourself, take it day by day, or hour by hour, and slowly it will get easier, you will get through it and life will stop spinning. You do not need to achieve everything at once, so take your time and choose one thing to get done each day, or not if you don't feel like it. Have patience with yourself and make sure to stop, take time out and just breathe every now and then - it helped me! 

In reply to your technology question, when you go into a listing and read it, there should be an empty box underneath the last response with your symbol (a turquoise circle with a V) next to it. You can type whatever you want in there and reply to any of the posts above - click on the Submit Reply button once you're done (bottom right of the box). If you want to reply to someone specific, just type @ and then their name and it will notify them (and show up like your name at the start of this post). Hope that helps.

Please let us know how it goes with the insurance company. I am thinking of you and sending you strength and positive energy to get through this - you are not alone.

Take care,

Michelle

[KayC]

I ditto what everyone else has already responded to you, try not to panic, what is commonplace to the insurance representative is not to you so he doesn't understand how panicked you must be feeling, try to hold on until your meeting.  Prayers for peace going up for you!

[Spengler]

It's difficult coping with taking-care-of-business problems while grieving, and it's a shame you have to go through this, Vivace.

You might consider contacting your state's Insurance Commissioner, since in many jurisdictions they also regulate life insurance companies. In some states they do aggressively intervene on the side of consumers.

[Sunshine247]

@Vivace50494 - I think if there were a problem, they would contact you in writing. I agree with what others have said - this is just someone doing his job and it's routine to them - it's completely new and foreign to you. Try not to jump ahead to What Ifs that might never happen (I am the Queen of this!) 

 

Sending you love and hugs and prayers and lots of strength. Stay strong for Patrick.

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17 hours ago, Vivace50494 said:

Just got a phone call asking me to meet with the insurance carrier for the life insurance policy my partner had; and for whom I am the only beneficiary.

Hi Vivace50494

It could be worse I had to deal with them over the phone and while I was in Sicily. Try setting up accounts and having things notarized while in a foreign country.

You'll be fine just take it slow and ask questions especially when it comes to tax liability. You may want to talk to an investor before seeing the insurance person.

 

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[KayC]

That said, as an anxiety survivor (that means I deal with it, not that it's ever entirely a thing of the past), I know we don't WANT to worry, it's something that comes unbidden infiltrating our space.  Thinking of you today and praying for peace...until you get the answers (and money) you need.  Do keep us posted.  And if you have any problems with them, do like Spengler said, contact your insurance commissioner, also your representative.  We have Peter DeFazio and oh how thankful the people in Oregon have been for him, he's gone to bat for most of us at some time or another!