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I lost my 4 year old cat yesterday


L.Jackson

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Hi fellow animal lovers,

I'm here because my 4 year old female cat Tuna was put down last night. She was at emerg for 4 days with high kidney levels and a blockage in one of her kidneys. We took her home to do palliative care after the doctor said there is nothing more they could for her. She was in good spirits when we would visit but she didn't do well at home. My husband and I are devistated. I have never felt grief like this in my life. My hear physicaly hurts and I haven't eaten much in the last 4 days. I have her biological brother and he keeps crying though the house looking for her. It breaks my heart, they were so close. Tuna was the type of cat that would great you at the door and put her arm up to be picked up. She was always following me around and slept next to me every night. She was so young and looked fine a week ago. I loved her more than anything. I'm so lonely with out her. I feel like I will never be the same.

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1 minute ago, L.Jackson said:

Hi fellow animal lovers,

I'm here because my 4 year old female cat Tuna was put down last night. She was at emerg for 4 days with high kidney levels and a blockage in one of her kidneys. We took her home to do palliative care after the doctor said there is nothing more they could for her. She was in good spirits when we would visit but she didn't do well at home. My husband and I are devistated. I have never felt grief like this in my life. My hear physicaly hurts and I haven't eaten much in the last 4 days. I have her biological brother and he keeps crying though the house looking for her. It breaks my heart, they were so close. Tuna was the type of cat that would great you at the door and put her arm up to be picked up. She was always following me around and slept next to me every night. She was so young and looked fine a week ago. I loved her more than anything. I'm so lonely with out her. I feel like I will never be the same.

"Time spent with cats is never wasted.” 

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I am so sorry, it's so hard to do any time, but all the more so when so young.

I want to give you this article because you have another pet at home that is grieving his sister. https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2018/06/pet-loss-supporting-your-grieving-pet.html

I also want to leave you this one because it's very common to second guess our decisions in early grief: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/04/pet-loss-guilt-in-wake-of-euthanasia.html

I wish I could tell you some way of getting through this easier, faster, but I know no way except straight through it, pain and all.  I've never learned a good way to circumvent grief, it's always there waiting for us when we come to.  I've suffered so much loss in my life, my husband, friends, parents, niece, nephew, and many many animals...grief is my companion and I've learned to coexist with it.  I can tell you that it is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.  You don't feel like smiling right now, but if you do catch yourself smiling at some point, don't chastise yourself for it, it's to be coveted, we need all the smiles we can find, and it's important to give ourselves permission to smile.  Right now everything is a trigger, a reminder of her absence.  From the absence of her greetings (I had a "greeter" cat too...I lost him 12 years ago and still miss him) to all of the daily interactions you had, all are reminders of your loss, and I'm so sorry.  Little by little you will begin to adjust to the changes it means for your life, I know it doesn't seem possible but our bodies are amazing in their resilience, even when it doesn't seem like that could be, it takes time to get there though.  

@AJWCat went through profound loss when their cat died, I'm sure she can share with you her story and hope you will grasp onto the hope it brings you.

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

I am so sorry, it's so hard to do any time, but all the more so when so young.

I want to give you this article because you have another pet at home that is grieving his sister. https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2018/06/pet-loss-supporting-your-grieving-pet.html

I also want to leave you this one because it's very common to second guess our decisions in early grief: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/04/pet-loss-guilt-in-wake-of-euthanasia.html

I wish I could tell you some way of getting through this easier, faster, but I know no way except straight through it, pain and all.  I've never learned a good way to circumvent grief, it's always there waiting for us when we come to.  I've suffered so much loss in my life, my husband, friends, parents, niece, nephew, and many many animals...grief is my companion and I've learned to coexist with it.  I can tell you that it is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.  You don't feel like smiling right now, but if you do catch yourself smiling at some point, don't chastise yourself for it, it's to be coveted, we need all the smiles we can find, and it's important to give ourselves permission to smile.  Right now everything is a trigger, a reminder of her absence.  From the absence of her greetings (I had a "greeter" cat too...I lost him 12 years ago and still miss him) to all of the daily interactions you had, all are reminders of your loss, and I'm so sorry.  Little by little you will begin to adjust to the changes it means for your life, I know it doesn't seem possible but our bodies are amazing in their resilience, even when it doesn't seem like that could be, it takes time to get there though.  

@AJWCat went through profound loss when their cat died, I'm sure she can share with you her story and hope you will grasp onto the hope it brings you.

Hi Kayc,

Thank you so much for your reply! It's nice to have somewhere to go for support. Thank you also for the links. I am sorry to hear you have lost so many loved ones. I'm sure it has made you a stronger person.

 

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I know how hard it is...hang in there, the intensity will lessen and then it will be easier to bear.  Many hugs!

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I am so sorry about your Tuna...i know how hard it is to lose your young cat so suddenly..I am also sorry about her brother...so heartbreaking...the first days are very painful,step by step you will feel better and try to keep in mind Tuna found love and happiness with you!This is the most precious thing!!

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Hi - I appreciate @KayC mentioning me as I saw myself in your story - and I am so sorry for your loss of Tuna. So young too. Our cat was older, we adopted him when he was 5 and had him 10 years. He got suddenly horribly ill one night and we had him pts. My heart literally hurt too - like it had broken. (I would not have been surprised.) 

Here is the thing: you're right - you will never be the same. Having a sweet wonderful cat like Tuna and losing her as you did changed you. The people and events in our life shape us. I felt for a time after losing my cat, how will life ever be good again? It took a while and time was the only healer. I had to work through so many emotions; anger, grief, sadness, guilt - over and over again. Life did get better and good again and I finally came to accept what happened. But the cat we lost impacted me and I will never forget him like you will never forget Tuna. 

The early days and weeks are incredibly tough, I know what you going through and my heart goes out to you. 

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@L.Jackson I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Tuna sounds like the most precious, loving little girl. I lost my cat Haiku recently and she was also young, only 5 years old. We think we have so much more time with them. I had always imagined Haiku getting old with me.

She was also very vocal and a greeter. I know the terrible sadness the silence now brings. I wish I could offer you any sort of wisdom but I can't. What I can say is that I know this pain, I know this heart ache, and I feel it with you. I am so so sorry you had to say goodbye. 

It's very sad to hear about her brother. But maybe there's some comfort in the fact that the 2 of you still have each other. 

 

Thinking of you, xx

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Thank you everyone for your kind words. Joining this forum has really helped me over the past few days.

Laura

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On 11/12/2018 at 9:57 AM, Nicola Sprawson said:

@L.Jackson I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Tuna sounds like the most precious, loving little girl. I lost my cat Haiku recently and she was also young, only 5 years old. We think we have so much more time with them. I had always imagined Haiku getting old with me.

She was also very vocal and a greeter. I know the terrible sadness the silence now brings. I wish I could offer you any sort of wisdom but I can't. What I can say is that I know this pain, I know this heart ache, and I feel it with you. I am so so sorry you had to say goodbye. 

It's very sad to hear about her brother. But maybe there's some comfort in the fact that the 2 of you still have each other. 

 

Thinking of you, xx

Hi Nicola,

 

I am so sorry that you also lost your little one at a young age. I am happy that I still have her brother and we are helping each other through this difficult time.

Take care,

 

Laura 

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