After 2 years of no communication, my father died

[Bliss]

It's going on a year and a half ago that I lost my father to colon cancer. When he died, we hadn't spoken in over two years. His girlfriend called me the day after he died to tell me that he had been sick. I had no idea. No one would go against his wishes and tell me. My half-sister didn't even tell me. My father and I had a complicated relationship that could sometimes be rather toxic. We were having one of our "breaks". Regardless of anything, I still loved my father very much and I would have dropped everything to be by his side while he was sick. I was never given the opportunity. I've been shoving all of the guilt, regret, sadness, and anger inside while I am trying to settle his estate, but I just can't do it any longer. I started individual therapy today and I'm looking for a support network. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who is there for me, but sometimes I want to give him a little break from my tears. I guess I just really need another outlet.

Thank you for listening (reading).

[reader]

Dear Bliss,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. I know how much we all want to go back and do things differently. Me too.

It is important to express our grief and to look for as many supports as possible.

Please know you are not alone and we are all with you.

Thinking of you.

[Anne B.]

Dear Bliss,

 

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dad.  My father died earlier this year.  Miss him terribly.  He was unable to speak during the last few months of his life except to maybe say a few words here and there.  It was horrible to watch him slip away bit by bit.  It always seemed like there was going to be more time and then all of the sudden there wasn't.  I can definitely relate to wanting to give a husband a break from the tears.  Sometimes I do feel alone in my grief eventhough I know that I'm not.  My thoughts are with you.  Hope things get easier for you.