Members Lost6263 Posted October 25, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2018 Today I slept about 12 hours, didn't want to get out of bed or do anything. Today would have been our 11 th anniversary. I can picture him running around at the last minute trying to find something for me, then he would wrap it in camo wrapping paper, get a card from him and a card from our dogs, flowers and a cake( normally his favorite lol but I became a fan of it too lol). Some of my friends in the neighborhood stopped by tonight and brought me a card and cake saying we love you. It's nice to have good people...genuine people in my life. But I still feel so alone and miss him so much my whole body aches. I am so tired lately. I have been trying to stay busy but now everything is done all I want to do is sleep. And I know that's not healthy but it's how I feel. Maybe one day soon I won't but right now all I want is to not be bothered and sleep. In my dreams I see him and it puts a smile on my face. When I wake up and realize my new reality all I do is cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Membership HPB Posted October 25, 2018 Membership Report Share Posted October 25, 2018 Sleep is my only refuge to escape the unacceptable reality (whilst alcohol is no good but making everything worse). But sleep is often very poor, interrupted, and often too short. 12 hours sleep, how are you achieving that? When I was reading your lines, I was still in bed, 11.30am, not sleeping, but without drive to get up. By now, past 2pm, I'm back from a 45mins hill walk. Fresh air, and a bit of physical activity will hopefully do its help tonight to sink again into the welcome absence of misery and sorrow: sleep. Eventhough I ask my wife every night before sleep to come visiting me in the dreams, those visits are still rare unfortunately. But I will not give up. Longing for and approaching the end of earthly life; day by day. ...night by night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 25, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 25, 2018 I'm glad you had friends that remembered and came by. I've faced all of our anniversaries alone, it's a pretty tough day, I just went through it again six days ago. You are probably exhausted by all you've been going through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost6263 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2018 9 hours ago, HPB said: Sleep is my only refuge to escape the unacceptable reality (whilst alcohol is no good but making everything worse). But sleep is often very poor, interrupted, and often too short. 12 hours sleep, how are you achieving that? When I was reading your lines, I was still in bed, 11.30am, not sleeping, but without drive to get up. By now, past 2pm, I'm back from a 45mins hill walk. Fresh air, and a bit of physical activity will hopefully do its help tonight to sink again into the welcome absence of misery and sorrow: sleep. Eventhough I ask my wife every night before sleep to come visiting me in the dreams, those visits are still rare unfortunately. But I will not give up. Longing for and approaching the end of earthly life; day by day. ...night by night. My mind and body must be tired. Since I lost my husband I've stayed very busy taking care of stuff, helping his mom, working( exceptthe first two months when I was a zombie). It wasn't good hard sleep....it never is. But I would sleep for a couple hours then wake up, lay there thinking and fall back asleep....have a nightmare and wake up again. But yesterday was the first day I didn't have anything to do or want anything to do. I closed the curtains, turned everything off and just went to bed. I long for a time when I can have a good sleep and dream about him, I don't know it will ever come. I too long for the day I see him again....none of us know when that will be though. I pray for strength for you and some rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lost6263 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 25, 2018 9 hours ago, KayC said: I'm glad you had friends that remembered and came by. I've faced all of our anniversaries alone, it's a pretty tough day, I just went through it again six days ago. You are probably exhausted by all you've been going through! I'm sorry you have to face them alone. I hope with time it has gotten a little easier for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 26, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 26, 2018 We get more used to it, I don't think it ever gets easy though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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