Gotta love it!!!!

[LeannC45]

Recently my son moved out and I am now on yet another part of my journey. It has only been a week living by myself and I have felt so many emotions. In less than a year I went from living with my husband, my son and raising two toddlers, to now living by myself. Sometimes I wonder what the lessons are that I am supposed to be receiving and other times I am not feeling anywhere close to enlightened and frankly don't care. Of course I do care but it is exhausting to stay in a positive place sometimes. Anyways this morning at work a coworker that I sometimes chat with said "Are you feeling better?" I said, feeling better? and then he said "yeah you looked haggard earlier this week". LOL...Now sometimes I am suffering from a migraine and I know you can see the pain on my face so I guess he was trying to read into that. Turns out I didn't have a migraine this week so chances are I just looked like crap. LOL...I honestly don't get people sometimes. Truth is there are many nights a week I have nightmares or I just toss and turn all night thinking about my husband or replaying in my mind what happened to him over and over again. Or sometimes I simply miss him so much that I probably wear that pain on my face and don't even know it. It is hard to look fresh as a daisy when your life has been turned upside down. Thought you guys would get a kick out of the idiotic comment I got. I just had to laugh to myself because otherwise I would just cry.

[Sunflower2]

2 hours ago, LeannC45 said:

Recently my son moved out and I am now on yet another part of my journey. It has only been a week living by myself and I have felt so many emotions. In less than a year I went from living with my husband, my son and raising two toddlers, to now living by myself. Sometimes I wonder what the lessons are that I am supposed to be receiving and other times I am not feeling anywhere close to enlightened and frankly don't care. Of course I do care but it is exhausting to stay in a positive place sometimes. Anyways this morning at work a coworker that I sometimes chat with said "Are you feeling better?" I said, feeling better? and then he said "yeah you looked haggard earlier this week". LOL...Now sometimes I am suffering from a migraine and I know you can see the pain on my face so I guess he was trying to read into that. Turns out I didn't have a migraine this week so chances are I just looked like crap. LOL...I honestly don't get people sometimes. Truth is there are many nights a week I have nightmares or I just toss and turn all night thinking about my husband or replaying in my mind what happened to him over and over again. Or sometimes I simply miss him so much that I probably wear that pain on my face and don't even know it. It is hard to look fresh as a daisy when your life has been turned upside down. Thought you guys would get a kick out of the idiotic comment I got. I just had to laugh to myself because otherwise I would just cry.

Love your attitude.  As painful as this loss is to our spirit we have to do our best to try to walk away with this attitude,  It is healing. 

There are people who would be making these comments to anyone it's just right now we are hypersensitive.  Laughter is healing!!!!   Even in this given situation you shared.

The last two days I actually left the house with a bounce and with makeup.    I kind of chuckled with the compliments but this time I openly and joyfully received them. The chuckle was acknowledging I usually look like I've been dragged through the alley on most days. 

Last night I woke up with nightmares. The panic and feeling so alone. This is our journey.  Yet today I bounced out again but no make up. LOL!  Next week I may not have that bounce.  Tomorrow morning I may not have that bounce. The unpredictable components of grief. Our story.

You did great for that moment and I loved that you shared this. 

[LeannC45]

10 minutes ago, Sunflower2 said:

Love your attitude.  As painful as this loss is to our spirit we have to do our best to try to walk away with this attitude,  It is healing. 

There are people who would be making these comments to anyone it's just right now we are hypersensitive.  Laughter is healing!!!!   Even in this given situation you shared.

The last two days I actually left the house with a bounce and with makeup.    I kind of chuckled with the compliments but this time I openly and joyfully received them. The chuckle was acknowledging I usually look like I've been dragged through the alley on most days. 

Last night I woke up with nightmares. The panic and feeling so alone. This is our journey.  Yet today I bounced out again but no make up. LOL!  Next week I may not have that bounce.  Tomorrow morning I may not have that bounce. The unpredictable components of grief. Our story.

You did great for that moment and I loved that you shared this. 

I appreciate your response. I am glad you had a lighter day with a bounce in your step and some makeup on. I now notice every time I feel lighter because those moments mean so much to me now. They should have always been as important to me but we take life for granite at times. Your description of your day made me smile because I can imagine an inner smile having a little bit of a normal day instead of the roller coaster of pain we have all been on. 

[KayC]

The last place I worked (seven long years) no one noticed anything about me, not sure which is worse.  It strikes me as odd, though, that someone would comment on your expression when they know what you've been dealing with.  

That's a whole lot of adjusting to do!  My daughter was visiting when George died and she stayed a while longer.  Unbeknownst to me, she invited a friend to come stay with me, and he was nothing but trouble, alcohol problems, etc.  The last thing in the world I needed to deal with!  A few months later and he was uninvited!!  With him there she started coming home less and less.  By the time he left I was good and ready to be alone!  But being alone without George is different than being alone without other people, I miss him each and every day of my life and there's times we all feel we're at our breaking point.  I remember a guy name Darrel (ole'misfit) saying, "One foot in front of the other" and that helped me.  The other day he quoted that and added, "of course, sometimes we stumble".  There's that.

[LeannC45]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

The last place I worked (seven long years) no one noticed anything about me, not sure which is worse.  It strikes me as odd, though, that someone would comment on your expression when they know what you've been dealing with.  

That's a whole lot of adjusting to do!  My daughter was visiting when George died and she stayed a while longer.  Unbeknownst to me, she invited a friend to come stay with me, and he was nothing but trouble, alcohol problems, etc.  The last thing in the world I needed to deal with!  A few months later and he was uninvited!!  With him there she started coming home less and less.  By the time he left I was good and ready to be alone!  But being alone without George is different than being alone without other people, I miss him each and every day of my life and there's times we all feel we're at our breaking point.  I remember a guy name Darrel (ole'misfit) saying, "One foot in front of the other" and that helped me.  The other day he quoted that and added, "of course, sometimes we stumble".  There's that.

This morning my coworker came into my department and told me I look better today. I basically stopped him mid-sentence and told him I don't want to be critiqued everyday on how I look. I don't need to feel bad and then be told by someone that I look horrible too. The negative comments don't serve any purpose. I remember in one of your posts that you mentioned how you started standing up for yourself after your husband passed and I knew it was time for me to do the same. I have had two male coworkers say uncomfortable or insensitive comments to me over the last two months. I am usually VERY uncomfortable with confrontation but I realize that if I don't say anything the behavior will just continue.  

[KayC]

Good for you!  And if it continues, you might make a trip into HR.