Members blackflag Posted October 15, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 this is my first post on these forums, so hello everyone. I lost my boyfriend of 4 years a little over 2 months ago. his name was Thomas, and he died in his sleep and the cause is still unknown. I have been going through the motions of grieving pretty well, yet lately sleeping is difficult. Once the day is over and I need to wind down, flooding thoughts about him, us, and the fact that I'll never be with him again won't stop. I feel so broken at night. I have been trying to keep myself busy in the day so I am physically burnt out at the end of the day, but nothing is helping this insomnia. The only way I really get to sleep is after/during a really intense sob session. Has anyone else dealt with this and how do they deal with it? I know it's because nighttime is when I'm truly alone, while everyone else sleeps soundly I'm left with all these intense feelings of emptiness. I miss my boyfriend so much it hurts. We were soulmates and I believed that we would be together for years and years to come. I am only 25 years old and I feel as if my romantic life has already ended for good. He wasn't just my boyfriend but my best friend. We were so in sync and fantastic together I feel like half of me is missing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ForgetMeNot150 Posted October 15, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 I found this free meditation online which has helped both me and my kids get to sleep when we've been struggling to during the tough times, so thought I would share it in case it helps you. (It is not religious or spiritual, but just a relaxation exercise). https://www.meditainment.com/meditation-for-falling-asleep I know what you mean about a part of you being missing as that is how I feel about my husband of 15 years. We did everything together so now to have to do it alone is hard and the quiet and loneliness of the nighttime only makes it worse. Thinking of you and hoping the link helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blackflag Posted October 15, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 29 minutes ago, ForgetMeNot150 said: I found this free meditation online which has helped both me and my kids get to sleep when we've been struggling to during the tough times, so thought I would share it in case it helps you. (It is not religious or spiritual, but just a relaxation exercise). https://www.meditainment.com/meditation-for-falling-asleep I know what you mean about a part of you being missing as that is how I feel about my husband of 15 years. We did everything together so now to have to do it alone is hard and the quiet and loneliness of the nighttime only makes it worse. Thinking of you and hoping the link helps. thank you so much! I will try it tomorrow night yes nighttime is probably the worst for many of us. i'm sorry for your loss <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 15, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 Meditation is helpful. Nighttime and weekends were the hardest times for me when George died, after 13 years it's all the same to me now, I get to sleep but when I wake up I have a hard time getting back to sleep. Here's another place that has meditations: https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/7778-meditation/ If you scroll through the pages you'll find many links to different meditations. Some who have not tried it before find it helps to start with short ones (ten minutes) rather than ones lasting an hour or more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunflower2 Posted October 15, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 research weighted blankets. I've noticed when I wake up during the night, with thoughts of the sudden loss and the trauma, I switch over to my weighted blanket. I just started this a month ago. Hot bubble soaks before bed. Just two simple actions that may help or may not. The forum and other resources will provide "simple survival techniques." Survival techniques can provide some soothing comfort but in the end we have to move through the pain which hits hard and is excruciating but we get through one moment at a time. Think Movement. Light exercise, walking, restorative yoga. Journaling. There are many forms of meditation. There is "moving meditation" which can be so supportive on many levels. Nature also provides "healing rooms." Find your space in nature. Grief like love is immeasurable. No one loves the same or grieves the same. Each step we take is part of our healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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