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Family Member Who is Terminally Ill


unpretty

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brandonsrockqueen

Hi

My name is lisa and im new to the board. I joined to speak to other people who are dealing with terminal ill or have a family member that is ill.

I hope ive posted in the right place

My sister is terminally and was diagnosed 5 years ago. She is now 25 and will be 26 next year. However she has been in and out of hospital since she was 3 months old. when she was born she was diagnosed with a very rare illness which caused her to take seizures all the time and she was eventually given surgery to remove the left side of her brain in order to stop them. This meant she would be in wheelchair the rest of her life. Since then she has been in hospital alot, she developed problems with her throat and had to be put on a feeding tube, and operation had to be done on her hip, she also developed kidney problems in the last year. Just after her first surgery with her brain the doctors said her life expectancy would possibly only be till she was 13 but shes amazed all the doctors over the years with her strength and gotten better each time but 5 years ago she started having very bad seizures which then led onto other health problems. It is now at the stage where she sleeps whenever she is in pain as it is now her body's way of dealing with it.

Over the last year she has been in and out of hospital more frequently, almost every few weeks and this year for the first time she was put on life support when she took 3 seizures in one day which affected her breathing badly.

I found over the years our family unit(me,mum,dad,gran and grandpa) all adjusted to the hosptial visits and times where she would take seizures and getting her to hospital and being strong for her but i found myself recently feeling more worried especially after seeing her on the life support and i just cant help feeling that all the more frequent hospital visits are making me wonder what if she doesnt come home from the hospital next time :( and i just feel so horrible for thinking it. I love my sister so much and if i could give her an organ or donate blood if it made any difference i would and i just cant bear the thought of losing her.

I apologise if my thoughts are all over the place, i was just looking to speak about what is happening right now and just to speak to people who are going through the similar experiences.

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rebeccadouglas

Hi lisa, let me assure you that everything you are thinking and feeling is very normal for what you are dealing with. Its very hard to watch someone we love go through so much and its hard to watch other family members who care for that person suffer along side.

You didn't give your age but if you are still in school see if there is a teacher or counselor you can speak with just to have someone safe to share your feelings with.Often there are people on hospital staff to help family members deal with the stresss of on going illness which may be life threatening.If you belong to a church perhaps the rector can help too.

You have done a positive and brave:dude: thing by coming to this website. I am a first timer myself. My prayers go with you may God Bless

Rebecca

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brandonsrockqueen

Hey

Thanks for replying back.

Sorry im 20 going on 21 in January.

I do try and talk about this with my family, friends but just wanted another place i could talk about things. im also in the middle of a counselling skills course which does help a little but i just find for myself its good to find other places just to speak about what is going on with my sister.

thanks for your prayers :)

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rebeccadouglas

It is always good to have a place to talk where you can be safe in that no one is emotionally linked to your situation. What you learn in counseling skills will surely be a help.

I am 59. I have a son 31 and a daughter 28.I learned alot of what I know by living this long and studying. I'm. glad you are here.I believe God always puts us where we need to be if we let Him. You and I must need to be here.

Blessings

Rebecca

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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when everything seems to be out of control remember that God is still in perfect control. Stay positive and look at the good side of things.

I've been there when our family became emotionally, physically and financially exhausted, but good thing we realized the need to plan for long term care

It is always good to have a place to talk where you can be safe in that no one is emotionally linked to your situation. What you learn in counseling skills will surely be a help.

I am 59. I have a son 31 and a daughter 28.I learned alot of what I know by living this long and studying. I'm. glad you are here.I believe God always puts us where we need to be if we let Him. You and I must need to be here.

Blessings

Rebecca

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