Members Rey Cinnanom Posted October 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2018 When I was 16 my mother passed away, she had a brain aneurysm, my brother and I were living with her and so we had to move in with my grandparents, whom I love but are very disconnected from me as they don't understand; depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders or much about young grief for that matter. They could never fully comprehend why I have attempted suicide 5 times since it happened a year ago, they can't understand why my brother almost became an alcoholic and started doing drugs. I have harmed myself in more ways than one since she has died. I feel alone and constantly numb. My boyfriend, is my shinning hero who carries the sun on his shoulders just to see me smile, I adore him and love him more than anything; but even he can't comprehend why sometimes I can just completely shut down, why I can go from one second of being insanely happy and in love to me pushing him away. I feel like it is because everyone else has left me, my dad lives in a different country with his new wife he has moved on. The rest of my family has moved far away, my brother moved as far away as he possibly could. So I guess i am fighting a never ending battle. Most days the depression gets me so bad that I just want to end it right then and there, the pain causing me to not be able to breathe, or move or even get out of bed on a morning. The inability to see the bright side of life kills me because all i want is my mum back. It is the anniversary of her death next week and I don't know if I am going to survive it. I am scared. Thank you for letting me share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Vivi Posted October 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2018 I am so sorry about the way that you feel! I lost my mom almost 6 yrs ago,and my dad will be 30 years I wish that I could tell you that it gets easier but it does not. You need to get help from a therapist, and a psychologist. They can help with this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted October 8, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 Dear Rey, I am very sorry for your devastating loss. I know the pain and sorrow is deep. Please know we are all with you and you are not alone. Its so hard sometimes to know where to turn and who to talk to. Please don't give up hope and know there are people that care. I don't know where you live but here are some links for the UK and USA. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/ https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Sending all my thoughts and prayers. Thinking of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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