Grief is forever, it seems.

[JMEagle]

I lost my dad on May 20th 2026, two and a half years ago. The first six months after his death I dont remember really well, I was severely depressed because he was my best friend and the one person who understood me and i also had a lot happen in addition to losing my dad. Over the past two years I've had plenty of days where I'm fine and I dont get upset when i think about him. But lately it's been getting bad again and I dont know what to do. I'm happy most of the time thinking of the good memories with him and all the things he helped me with and just thinking of how proud he'd be of me. But that's the issue is I am so happy and life is going so well that it makes me miss him so much it hurts. I just get stuck because I'm finally settling down, I'm in a happy healthy relationship that is leading into an amazing future and all I can think of is all thing things my dads going to miss, like my engagement, wedding, birth of my first child, you know all of those things children, especially girls count on their dads being their for. I'm 24 and I just keep thinking of my siblings who had my dad for all of that and it makes me resent them a little because they dont understand why even though I look forward to those thing I feel bittersweet about a future. And my boyfriend try as he might doesn't always understand why thinking about the future and like can put me in moods where I shut down. Sometimes when I have a night like tonight where I breakdown and lose myself in my grief I feel like I havent come as far as I thought because even though they're a lot less often I do have these nights. They say it gets easier over time but how much time does it take? I feel like I'm never going to get better and not have these nights where nothing helps but sitting somewhere crying. Does anyone have any advice on what to do when it starts getting that bad? 

[sadandlost]

Dear JMEagle,

I completely understand your feelings.  It’s almost 2yrs for me and it’s still difficult.  Some days are fine and I enjoy things but like you said it’s hard to imagine a future without them and sharing moments good and bad.  I’m sorry for your loss.  I don’t have any advice.  I just wanted to say it’s the same for most of us.  Grief is a long process.  I m pretty certain one doesn’t get over it but I think over a long period of time we get used to a different life without them but the sadness of that loss stays. Maybe it becomes softer?  I don’t know, I’m not there.

[JMEagle]

Thank you, and I'm sorry for your loss as well. I want to say at almost three years it has gotten softer sometimes but then you really do have those days where it feels just like the day they died and you feel just as broken but then there's times where you can think of them and smile. I wish you the best along this road, it's a tough one but you're strong for making it this far.