Members Springshine Posted September 30, 2018 Members Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 My husband died three months ago, there are things that are just a part of everyday life that make me want to break down. My husband was the cook, he loved to cook, and he was amazing at it. I CAN cook, but I just hate doing it, so we had a little role reversal. Due to an abusive ex, I also have a bit of PTSD about cooking (such a long story), and my husband spent a lot of time helping me over hurdles. He would invite me into the kitchen with him, and teach me his techniques, but I never took to it. He would ask me to cook sometimes, I always made the same boring things, easy things. But....he’s gone now....we have three children and there is no one left to do it but me. We have started an “experimental dinner night” where one of the kids finds a recipe and we try it. I’ve cooked so many things I never would have tried before and I can’t help but feel like I owe him an apology. He would have been so happy to see me trying new things, even if they turned out terrible, he would have encouraged me to try again, or how to make it different the next time, he would have loved every moment of it and I should have done this with him! I should have done this for him! But I didn’t. And it’s such a small thing, and it’s such a “who cares” thing, but it breaks my heart every time we have experimental night because....I should have....but I didn’t....and I know it doesn’t matter...but I’m so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 30, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted September 30, 2018 I think the only thing he's feeling about your cooking with the kids now is that he is proud of you. I don't think he feels regrets you didn't do it sooner, he was happy to cook for you, but I think he's so proud of you for everything you're trying to do. I also think he hears you and knows you're sorry, it's okay to let that go now. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Laney Posted October 5, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 5, 2018 Springshine, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 3 months ago also (cancer). please know that it's not a "who cares" thing. These things are real and we have a right to feel and express all that affects us in this grief journey. I agree, it sounds like he loved cooking and especially cooking for you! take care.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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