My mother passed away..and then my father..

[Tsuyame]

Hello, I've been lurking through this forum since my mom passed away in 2013 in October..it was the worst day of my life..she was our everything, it was very unexpected..I don't even know how to start...

 

My dear father was all I had left..he has been suffering alchoholism since he was only 18 years old..

He tried his best to the best father he could despite his addiction..he was sober for 3 years ( he was the bindge drinking type..it would occur every 6 months he would go on a drinking rampage for 2 whole weeks )...

 

I knew sooner or later his bad habits would catch up to him..but I didn't think it would've been this soon..

 

10th of August he went to the hospital for chest pain...he got convulsions during the night so he got admitted to the ICU...

And then everything went downhill..the next day I was able to talk to him..and I got out of the room for 20 mins and when I got back the DR. Told me he was having a hard time breathing so they had to put the breathing tube machine in...

 

He never came to since...he was in complete delirium and got told he had problem to his liver heart and lungs and that he didnt have long to live..my little sister and me were devastaded but was hopeful to be able to spend his last days with him...he was doing better in term of his breathing and they removed the machine..he made progress but was still in delirium..didn't talk, he just seemed in pain ..

 

15th of august came..he had another convultion and I got told he needed to be tubed again..I was so scared because it was already painful for him..

 

And just as I thought his body couldn't handle it and had a cardiac arrest on the spot just like that..gone..my baba ( I call him like that from where I come from )

I still remember holding his hand with my sister and him nodding to us while we said; dad its okay, soon were all gonna go home together ..I feel he still wanted to fight to be with us..

 

There's never a good time for our parent to leave us..but I am so depressed..I was still grieving my mothers death..

 

My mother took care of him like a baby and due to the way he was I know he was the one who was hurting the most when she passed..

 

 

I Discovered my dad was trying to hide the gravity of his health to us and that makes me even more sad..I don't know..

He was only 59..my mother was 51..I feel so lost...

I was with him 24/7 in that hospital....that friday when I saw him when he was still okay..he felt it he was telling stuff like to take care lf my sister etc...

Its so hard..I loved him so much..

 

[Kcarey]

Hey, I’m sorry about your dad and your mom. No matter what keep talking to us, you’re not crazy and you have every right to feel what you feel. 

[Missing papa]

I also lost my mother Feb 2013 and now my father july 31st 2018. I can relate to your story. My mother was also my everything. My best friend, my whole world. I have not been able to "get over it" I still struggle everyday not having her here to guide me through life. She  battled cancer until it took her from us 4 years later. My father...we were finally begining to have the same relationship. Like your dad my father was an amazing man but struggled with addiction since he was young. He was clean for a few years and I didnt even know he was using again until he passed. I am heart broken. And dont know how to deal. They were also young. Mom was 57 and dad 62. I just turned 31 4 days before he passed. I just cant even. I wish you so much strength. Just know of you need someone to talk to feel free to msg me. Hugss

[Tsuyame]

Thank you..for the kinds words and support..its just not the same to share these feelings to friends that cannot understand this pain unless they have gone through it...

My condolences for your loss..I can understand this overwhemling and unbareable pain...

 

I moved back to my sisters and noticed my dads asthray..for a second I thought he's still here in this world with us...