Members Jamesstephen Posted August 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted August 21, 2018 Hi there I’m really suffering beyond anything I’ve ever had to deal l lost my bf just over a week ago he killed him self I know he was suffering from depression and so do I I found him the next morning and my life has just ripped apart and I honestly don’t know what to do where to start he was an amazing guy he changed my life and all I’m feeling is guilt hurt lost broken could you please give me some advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Glolilly Posted August 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted August 22, 2018 If you can call a local hospice and ask for a grief counseling services. Also do you have a local church that can offer comfort and talking. I know the funeral home also has connections and resources listing in their offices. You need to be around family or a close friend who will listen to your questions and thoughts. This forum is very good as well but at first you may need both to give you strength and consolation. Sudden death and finding him that way can be very traumatic and shocking. It would ge great if you could sleep with family or they with you for a week or two to help you get your bearing. I went through many forums, many grief books, random shopping to get out not really knowing my frame of mind for months. Praying with family, attending church, talking with other widows, and my mother helped me out of the fog, shocking and guilt. I had to realize that I wasn't God. I've seen my dad shot 3 times in the face, neck and chest when he was robbed at age 70 and lived until 93 in good health. I've seen a patient come in the ER with a large metal object stuck in his chest and live. So if my guy didn't get that miracle, then it just didn't happen. He was put into your life at the time for a purpose probably to better you that we may understand later or not. God knows for sure. Praying that you seek help and good support. Keep us informed on how you're doing please. May God bless your life. Take one day at a time and don't worry about a whole lifetime in your mind. The mind is the controller that needs taming for the heart and body. May you have peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunflower2 Posted August 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted August 22, 2018 13 hours ago, Glolilly said: If you can call a local hospice and ask for a grief counseling services. Also do you have a local church that can offer comfort and talking. I know the funeral home also has connections and resources listing in their offices. You need to be around family or a close friend who will listen to your questions and thoughts. This forum is very good as well but at first you may need both to give you strength and consolation. Sudden death and finding him that way can be very traumatic and shocking. It would ge great if you could sleep with family or they with you for a week or two to help you get your bearing. I went through many forums, many grief books, random shopping to get out not really knowing my frame of mind for months. Praying with family, attending church, talking with other widows, and my mother helped me out of the fog, shocking and guilt. I had to realize that I wasn't God. I've seen my dad shot 3 times in the face, neck and chest when he was robbed at age 70 and lived until 93 in good health. I've seen a patient come in the ER with a large metal object stuck in his chest and live. So if my guy didn't get that miracle, then it just didn't happen. He was put into your life at the time for a purpose probably to better you that we may understand later or not. God knows for sure. Praying that you seek help and good support. Keep us informed on how you're doing please. May God bless your life. Take one day at a time and don't worry about a whole lifetime in your mind. The mind is the controller that needs taming for the heart and body. May you have peace. wise words of encouragement shared Golilly! I thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 22, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted August 22, 2018 I'm sorry for your loss, I concur with Glolilly, it's important to get professional grief counseling. If you're near a university you might ask them if they have it, sometimes can get discounted rates based on income, also just calling around you can find someone if you don't have hospice available, usually it's for people who were on it, their families. To aid you in your search for a grief counselor: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/10/seeing-specialist-in-grief-counseling.html Understanding the grief process: http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html Understanding guilt feelings in grief: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/12/grief-and-burden-of-guilt.html Articles for those touched by suicide: https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/03/grief-support-for-survivors-of-suicide.html http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/11/surviving-spouses-suicide.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jamesstephen Posted August 22, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted August 22, 2018 Thank you so much really appreciate the support I’m staying with my brother who has been so supportive I’m in shock still I keep breaking out permanent anxiety I’m getting close to my church to I’m taking one step at a time thanks again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 23, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted August 23, 2018 I'm glad you have good support with your brother and your church. So important! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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