Bad day

[Jamiei]

I am a flight attendant for delta airlines and I was boarding a flight today, I was helping a lady with her bag and I asked her if she wanted it up above or under her seat! She said be careful it’s my husbands ashes... I completely froze and told her how sorry I was! She told me it’s been a couple years but she travels with him. I just looked at her and thought here is this lady going on vacation bringing her husbands ashes, it crushed me!  Dewayne and I traveled so much in the last four years, we were suppose to go on a cruise in Italy next month. I wonder if days are ever going to get easier? It almost seems like it’s getting harder or maybe the shock is just starting to wear off!

[Nicole-my grief journey]

Jamiei,

Wow, what an interaction. Although it may have been brief, you two were obviously put in each others path. You were the right person to be in front of her at that moment. I’m sure the look im both of your eyes was an understanding. It would bring me to tears too. My mom was my adventure partner and we had so many plans for places we were going to go. I am telling myself I will complete seeing the places in honor of her and knowing she would want me to, but at the moment I can’t actually fathom doimg any of it. I have barely left her house and so I am doing what I can here with putting out her seasonal decorations and I finally sat in her favorite room the other night. I only have been able to do that once since she got sick a few months ago and she just passed. Burying her ashes was so hard. I kissed the urn and then stepped away and did the last greeting and goodbye I always gave her, which was blowing three kisses with my hands and saying I love you MuhMuh. I have a keespsake urn and haven’t taken it out if the box yet. It’s just too painful right now. The shock is wearing off for me and I’m realizing every day what I won’t have and what I miss. The yearning for her is so strong. Sending prayers your way.

[KayC]

Easier?  We just had this discussion on my other forum.  It seems like a relative term.  Things don't get "better" as in "well" but I think years out is easier in that we get more used to it, we're no longer as blindsided as we were at first.  In a way it does seem sad that we can get used to our life being without the person that brought it meaning and life, but then again, I wouldn't want those early days of grief for anything in the world.

[Lost6263]

My dad said it to me best the days after my husband passed. You never get over it, you will in time learned to live with it a little more.