Please read this. I miss you Azur... ♡

[Silvana]

Hello everyone

This is kind of a long story but read it to the end, it's worth it and you may save your cat's life.

I would like to talk about the loss of my cat, Azur. She was such a lovely cat. She used to follow me everywhere and licked my face every morning to wake me up. I was staying at a friend's house for about a week but my dad stayed at home. He had to go away the day before yesterday and he came back a day later (yesterday). He picked me up at my friend's house as soon as he came back and he drove me home. He was taking the groceries and I entered first. When I opened the door, I was expecting my cat to be right behind the door waiting for me. Then I called her but she didn't come. After that I dropped my bags and stood in front of the door in the kitchen, the door of the bathroom was open. The first things I saw were my plants on the floor and the broken jars. When I looked up, I saw my cat, hanging from the window. Those kind of tilt windows that are half open and become smaller on the sides. I stood there, seeing my cat, who didn't move anymore and had a fly flying around her. I felt something cold and horrible going through my body and I directly looked away and cried. Then my dad saw me crying and looked at the window of the bathroom at the outside and there was my cat's head. I fell on the couch and cried and screamed in the blanket. I couldn't realise that I will never hear or see her anymore. My father forgot to close that tilt window but we usually left it open because it's really small and high and we've never thought she was able to get stuck in there. She probably jumped on the washing machine and on the towels but I really don't know how it's possible. This kind of accident also happened to a someone I know, and I think it happens quit usually because a lot of people talk about this on internet. My father digged a hole in the garden and she's in there now.. He also cleaned all the mess and the plants on the floor and put away all of her belongings. I'm so grateful to have a dad like this seriously. I had to prepare myself 2 hours yesterday to be able to go to the bathroom. My father had to put a blanket in front of the window. I cried so much and I couldn't fall asleep. I was scared but also angry at that window and my cat, and sad, so sad. My cat always used to sleep with me but now I feel lonely. Today I used the bathroom and he put away the blanket. There were marks on the wall and also bloodmarks. I don't know how to feel. I just feel so sorry. Sorry for her horrible death. Sorry that I left her alone. Sorry that nobody could help her. Sorry for the pain. I want to cry all the tears left in my body and scream all the air left in my lungs. She turned 3 two weeks ago and I made a little birthday cake for her. I always look at pictures of her and remember plenty of nice moments I had with her. But when I think of those moments, I always have flashbacks of her in the window. I can't stop imaginating the scene, the pain she was going through and her trying to escape from that evil trap.

If you have those kind of windows, please always close them if you're sleeping or if you're not around, or just always. You can also buy a protection. But please make sure you don't leave them open, you can save your cat's life by just closing it. 

I miss you Azur. I love you with all of my heart and you always used to cheer me up when I was sad. My life is so empty without you.I'm so sorry.

[Beatriz]

Thank you for your post and for considering ways in which the terrible accident that happened to Azur can be prevented and avoided by other cats. It is very thoughtful of you to be so concerned at this moment when you are experiencing the trauma of your own Loss. I am so sorry to learn of the circumstances in which your cat died and can only imagine your shock and pain. The flashbacks are the result of trauma and perverse as they seem I believe the brain prompts them for a reason. The enormity of what happened has to be processed somehow within our minds and thus the horrible images temporarily replay and replay. This will stop at some stage and I hope soon for you, my dear. I understand you sadness and how much you must miss your Azur. With time you may find some comfort learning that your love for her will remain unaltered. Meanwhile, take care and write here whenever you want. We read you.

[Silvana]

17 minutes ago, Beatriz said:

Thank you for your post and for considering ways in which the terrible accident that happened to Azur can be prevented and avoided by other cats. It is very thoughtful of you to be so concerned at this moment when you are experiencing the trauma of your own Loss. I am so sorry to learn of the circumstances in which your cat died and can only imagine your shock and pain. The flashbacks are the result of trauma and perverse as they seem I believe the brain prompts them for a reason. The enormity of what happened has to be processed somehow within our minds and thus the horrible images temporarily replay and replay. This will stop at some stage and I hope soon for you, my dear. I understand you sadness and how much you must miss your Azur. With time you may find some comfort learning that your love for her will remain unaltered. Meanwhile, take care and write here whenever you want. We read you.

Thank you so much for replying. I feel so empty and I'm feeling anxious when I see the door of the bathroom. I hate going to the bathroom now. I hope the flashbacks will go away soon.. I can't live my life normally like before anymore.. It quite reassures me it's normal what I'm going through but it feels bad to know I'm going through a trauma.

[Beatriz]

Dear Silvana, the Loss of a loved one is a trauma regardless of the circumstances and in my humble opinion. Do not feel bad or more vulnerable than any of us can be and eventually are. It is just the way we humans are. From my experience life changes forever when confronting the death of a cherished and loved companion like your Azur and my cats Tripps and Preta but it does not mean that you cannot again function normally and be your loving self. You wiil. Just give yourself time. It does take time, too, grief does. 

[KayC]

You are so sweet to warn us and think of saving other cat's lives.  I can't imagine the horror you felt at seeing that, all of the feelings...well yes I can.  I lost my beloved Fluffy (dog) 21 years ago to an accident and when he rolled out dead in my arms, it's a horror I will never forget.  (he'd crawled into our van unbeknownst to me and was in it closed up all day while I was working, during a hot summer day)

It is a shock, and very hard to get through.  In time you get used to their not being there any more, but the images don't leave your memory and of course the missing them continues.  Like you, I felt bad that the accident resulted in his premature death, he was a wonderful family dog and deserved a full life.

You are right in that we are never the same again once we've had that brush with death.  We can't take anything for granted any more.  Please try not to blame yourself though, you could not have known.

Please read these articles, they've been of great help to me and others.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

[Silvana]

20 minutes ago, KayC said:

You are so sweet to warn us and think of saving other cat's lives.  I can't imagine the horror you felt at seeing that, all of the feelings...well yes I can.  I lost my beloved Fluffy (dog) 21 years ago to an accident and when he rolled out dead in my arms, it's a horror I will never forget.  (he'd crawled into our van unbeknownst to me and was in it closed up all day while I was working, during a hot summer day)

It is a shock, and very hard to get through.  In time you get used to their not being there any more, but the images don't leave your memory and of course the missing them continues.  Like you, I felt bad that the accident resulted in his premature death, he was a wonderful family dog and deserved a full life.

You are right in that we are never the same again once we've had that brush with death.  We can't take anything for granted any more.  Please try not to blame yourself though, you could not have known.

Please read these articles, they've been of great help to me and others.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for the articles, I'll read them immediately. I wish that what I saw was just a nightmare, and that I'm going to wake up and see Azur sleeping next to me. But that's not going to happen. And it feels so bad I can't even explain. I hope this horrible feeling will get over soon..

[My buddy Thomas]

Silvana,

I am deeply sorry for the loss of Azur especially in such tragic circumstances. You are so kind hearted to think of others and warn them while mourning her passing. The only advice I can give you is to make use of this forum if you feel you need to get your feelings out... the many wonderful people on here have been very helpful to me in managing my grief over the loss of my cat Thomas. Again I'm truly sorry for your loss :-(

[Silvana]

19 hours ago, My buddy Thomas said:

Silvana,

I am deeply sorry for the loss of Azur especially in such tragic circumstances. You are so kind hearted to think of others and warn them while mourning her passing. The only advice I can give you is to make use of this forum if you feel you need to get your feelings out... the many wonderful people on here have been very helpful to me in managing my grief over the loss of my cat Thomas. Again I'm truly sorry for your loss :-(

Thank you so much ♡ I don't want this to happen to other cats because losing a cat is so painful, especially in tragic circumstances.. I've read your story and I'm deeply sorry too... I feel a bit better by telling my story and getting my feelings out.