Members Nely Posted August 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 The last couple of weeks passed without so much tears. I was amazed at how I fared during this period. However, it's being totally a different story since yesterday. My mood changed completely, last night was indeed very sad as I cried , sobbed and felt so alone in this world. Right now, my heart is breaking and it hurts, literally. Oh God! Can I handle this? Why me,whY us? Where did we go wrong . I don't know if I can handle this. My husband, my swity, my baby, my love... This can't be true...I haven't heard from you for almost 4 months now. Is this for real.... where are you Sam? Please talk to me pleeeeeeeease... My heart is so heavy. I'm just an emotional wreck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeannC45 Posted August 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 2 minutes ago, Nely said: The last couple of weeks passed without so much tears. I was amazed at how I fared during this period. However, it's being totally a different story since yesterday. My mood changed completely, last night was indeed very sad as I cried , sobbed and felt so alone in this world. Right now, my heart is breaking and it hurts, literally. Oh God! Can I handle this? Why me,whY us? Where did we go wrong . I don't know if I can handle this. My husband, my swity, my baby, my love... This can be true...I haven't heard from you for almost 4 months now. Is this for real.... My heart is so heavy. I'm just an emotional wreck. I am so so sorry for your pain. I know how you are feeling because even at almost 6 months in I experience the same despair. Hold on to the love you have for your baby I promise this wave will pass. Sometimes the grief takes over for a day or two and then it does subside. If you are open to it you might want to explore some therapy. I am not sure if you mentioned whether or not you are going to therapy. I honestly couldn't make it without seeing my therapist once a week. At first I didn't think it would help but honestly it really does. Please know that all of us here know how you are feeling. You are not alone! Take a deep breath and try to just take it easy. You can do this a little baby step at a time. Sending you strength and (hugs). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nely Posted August 1, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 Dear LeannC45, Thank you so much for your kind words. It helps to know that someone out there understands and cAres too. I don't know how I feel anymore or what to do anymore. I don't have anyone to really talk. You and the other good people here are the ones I can bare my heart to. I'm so confused. I wish my mum was still alive. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! You promised us good plans with an expected end, please let me understand the reasons for my existence. My heart is breaking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 1, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 It really helps to get professional grief counseling. Usually they choose that profession because of something they've been through themselves and they're trained to know how to help us through this. Plus it's an added layer of support. I am glad you found your way here, my grief forum literally saved my life when my husband died. Grief comes in waves. I learned not to fight it but to let it flow. If you have days where all you can do is cry, so be it...it releases all of the pent up emotion in us, and it, believe it or not,helps us process our grief, but not only tears, reading books and articles, listening to music, etc. I even did art therapy and that was helpful (depicting how I felt and depicting how I wanted to feel). Right now just focus on getting through the day, you are early in grief. It can take a long time to make your way through this, it took me years to find purpose and build a life I could live. Give yourself the gift of patience and understanding. I've learned to become my own best friend now that George is gone. That doesn't mean we don't need other friends, but we need to prioritize taking care of ourselves, understanding ourselves, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KavitaHubby Posted August 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 3 hours ago, Nely said: The last couple of weeks passed without so much tears. I was amazed at how I fared during this period. However, it's being totally a different story since yesterday. My mood changed completely, last night was indeed very sad as I cried , sobbed and felt so alone in this world. Right now, my heart is breaking and it hurts, literally. Oh God! Can I handle this? Why me,whY us? Where did we go wrong . I don't know if I can handle this. My husband, my swity, my baby, my love... This can't be true...I haven't heard from you for almost 4 months now. Is this for real.... where are you Sam? Please talk to me pleeeeeeeease... My heart is so heavy. I'm just an emotional wreck. Hi Nely, So sorry for your loss. These feeling keeps coming back even after almost 2 years for me but we learn to cope with it better as time passes. So please hang on and we all are here for you to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nely Posted August 1, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 @KayC and @KavitaHubby, you won't understand how much your responses mean to me. I draw strength from them and the fact that there are people here who will bother to respond to my situation. It's hurts really bad that I don't have any body here with me whom I can talk to. My husband was my life_ my friend and confidant. My immediate elder sister who should have been there to talk to seem more preoccupied with her own life and family. The older woman who greatly helped me through my earliest days is sort of withdrawn leaving me alone. My only support now is here. So you see why I can't thank you enough? Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 2, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted August 2, 2018 You're welcome, that's what this place is for. I'm curious, have you tried a grief support group? Ours has become pretty close, we even socialize together a bit now. It helps to know we can call each other if need be... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nely Posted August 3, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 @KayC, no I haven't. However, with the way I feel these days, I just have to find a good one and start counselling. Thank you for all your kind words and care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 3, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 Sometimes it's hard to take the first step but doing so will make all the difference in the world to your being able to process your grief. It all helps. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nely Posted August 3, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted August 3, 2018 @KayC thank you so much. I will look for one that can work for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nely Posted August 7, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 I'm trying but it's so hard. Everything keeps reminding me of this great loss. HURTS more when I see that his family for which he cared so much have moved on_ I see different posts of them having a great day on FB. It's so heart wrenching that they can easily move on when it will only be four months next week. Planning to see a childhood friend tomorrow. She lost her husband few months after her wedding about 8years ago (she's remarried though). She might understand how I feel, Just maybe. I don't know if it's a right step in the right direction but anything to keep my sanity for our son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 7, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 Just because they look like they've moved on doesn't mean that they have. They may be grieving in private. I hope you have a good visit with your friend tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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