One In-Law calling me a gold-digger

[Linda P]

My sister-in-law started calling me a gold digger. She said I took advantage of her brother and he was gullible for being so needy. I am in shock. Nothing could be further from the truth.  I don’t get it.  Before my husband passed (he had been ill), he told me on more than one occasion ‘Not to give things away’ But since I didn’t allow his family free reign to clean my house out, his sister got angry and started saying and spreading horrible things.   It’s very hurtful.  I don’t need the additional stress at this time of grief. I’m cutting ties with her completely. I just don’t understand some people. 

[LeannC45]

1 hour ago, Linda P said:

My sister-in-law started calling me a gold digger. She said I took advantage of her brother and he was gullible for being so needy. I am in shock. Nothing could be further from the truth.  I don’t get it.  Before my husband passed (he had been ill), he told me on more than one occasion ‘Not to give things away’ But since I didn’t allow his family free reign to clean my house out, his sister got angry and started saying and spreading horrible things.   It’s very hurtful.  I don’t need the additional stress at this time of grief. I’m cutting ties with her completely. I just don’t understand some people. 

Keep your head up and make the best decisions for you and your immediate family. This is so incredibly hard without any extra drama from anyone. Only you know what your husband's true wishes were and you have to hold true to those no matter the chatter/disrespect that comes from extended family. I am going through some very hard decisions regarding my husband as well. I fear being shut out from his family but at the end of the day we are left here alone and we are doing the best we can. I always think "what would my husband want?" and I try to make decisions based off of that and also what is best for me. It really is a new skill that has to be learned to look out for ourselves first so that we can heal properly and construct some kind of new life. I really feel your pain and wish you the best.

[KayC]

2 hours ago, Linda P said:

I don’t need the additional stress at this time of grief. I’m cutting ties with her completely. I just don’t understand some people. 

Sometimes there is no understanding some people...cutting ties is all we can do sometimes.  My husband had nine siblings when he died, all but one lived within a few hours, yet only three bothered to show up to his funeral.  His own father did not even come, even though he was offered a ride.  His father called me a year later, badmouthing him, all unfounded.  I reminded him how George used to drive two hours to his house to play cribbage with him.  I told him to call when he had something better to say about him and hung up.  He never called back.  I don't regret doing that, even though I knew my husband would be grieved if he knew what happened.  His father died a few years ago, a pathetic old man.

We can't help where we came from or our husband either, but we do need to protect and stand up for ourselves.  You are going through tremendous grief and do not need this added stress.  I applaud you for your decision.