Still so depressed over my mom's death

[tara1111]

Before I go into my long tale of woe, I wanted to say I have been reading your stories. I am so very sorry for your losses and for what you are struggling with now. I relate to so much of this. 
I lost my mom on March 17 this year. My parents had me when they were a little older. My dad died when he was 44 (too young) and I was 2. My mom was really the only parent I knew and it was always just the two of us. We were very close. She was my best friend and I miss her so much. I feel like I'm not dealing well, like I should be starting to feel better (and at times I do) but most of the time I just really miss her and feel lonely without her. I'm married and I have a son. They have both been so supportive. I am blessed to have them both. I know it's weird to say your lonely when you live with 2 people but I do. My mom was a big part of my life. I would go to see her all the time and when I didn't we would talk on the phone. Maybe that's why. I don't know. I'm kind of a wreck at the moment.
Also the day of my mom's funeral my closest friend and sister in law did not show up.  My husband lost a brother and his dad but still has his mom and sister. For whatever reason she did not come and did not offer condolences in any way. My mother in law did come to the viewing and service but I was really hurt by my "friend" and sister in law. My husband was mad at his sister and when we came home he texted her and told her that he was couldn't believe she would do that and that she really hurt me She has never attempted to reach out or apologize. As far as my mother in law (who I thought I was close with) she has made it pretty clear to us that if we can't just get over it, that's our problem. We haven't heard from her since a few days after the funeral. I wasn't expecting that trifecta on top of my moms passing and I feel like that's 3 people I also kind of lost. They certainly haven't been here for me when I needed them. I know I'm really feeling sorry for myself here so I'll wrap it up. 
Thanks for listening.

[reader]

Dear Tara,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Please don't be hard on yourself. The first few months and even first year is very hard after losing a beloved parent.

I'm sorry the absence of your friend, mother in law and sister in law at the service added to your pain. I know its not right but maybe they have their reasons. I know some people are afraid of funerals and tend to avoid them.

It is only natural and normal to feel as you do. Its hard to believe our parent is no longer with us and it is lonely.

Be kind and gentle with yourself. Let yourself grieve. It's been a year and half and many people tell me I'm still early in my grief.

Please know we are all here to listen and support each other.

Thinking of you.

[Caterina]

Hello, sorry for your loss. I’m sorry that your friend and mother in loss was not at your services. It’s funny, when all the services are going on, you sometimes don’t even know who was there, but you know who was not there. I’m sure they have their reasons for not attending, but at some point down the road you might want to have a conversation one on one with each of them to tell them how they made you feel. I recently lost my dad, and there are some people that I though I was close to and never even bothered to reach out to me. It’s after everything is over that is when you need your family and friends there to help you through this sad time. Hang on there and hope things get better for you. 

[tara1111]

Thank you both so much. I only just joined this forum and have already found the people here to be so incredibly kind. i already feel less alone. Just being able to vent to people who have been there and understand is a comfort. Caterina it is so true. The day was such a blur that I really wasn't processing everyone who was there but I did notice who was missing.

Again thank you both so much for your kind words and helpful advice.

I'm so sincerely sorry for your losses.

Tara