New dog stress

[Glolilly]

Hi, haven't been on in awhile. Was trying to be " moving forward." A lady posted a relative dog that was traumatized after the 75 yr old man fell and she was in crate 3 days while he lies on floor. He went to nursing home and she is allergic to this terrier mix . She posted her for free 3 yrs old, pretty girl. I meet her and she likes me. Well she meets my son's and all seems well. She has had 3-4 pee per accident and tons of shedding and I vacuum 3-4 times in o ne day. The lady said she can be outdoor because she did so I do it but that is also bothering me. I have now become extremely exhausted, overly tired and worried about her. I'm beginning to think that I over ju mped. My hands are shaking. I'm back looking at my husbands pics, crying. Should I give her back? I start back to work full-time in 10 days and my son at home is still grieving tired with little energy. I walked her the first day and she wore me out but wasn't tired. How did the elderly man keep up? Your thoughts ple a se.

[Stonesie]

3 hours ago, Glolilly said:

Hi, haven't been on in awhile. Was trying to be " moving forward." A lady posted a relative dog that was traumatized after the 75 yr old man fell and she was in crate 3 days while he lies on floor. He went to nursing home and she is allergic to this terrier mix . She posted her for free 3 yrs old, pretty girl. I meet her and she likes me. Well she meets my son's and all seems well. She has had 3-4 pee per accident and tons of shedding and I vacuum 3-4 times in o ne day. The lady said she can be outdoor because she did so I do it but that is also bothering me. I have now become extremely exhausted, overly tired and worried about her. I'm beginning to think that I over ju mped. My hands are shaking. I'm back looking at my husbands pics, crying. Should I give her back? I start back to work full-time in 10 days and my son at home is still grieving tired with little energy. I walked her the first day and she wore me out but wasn't tired. How did the elderly man keep up? Your thoughts ple a se.

I would try to stick it out - but you need to do what you feel is right.  I have four dogs, was three up until a month ago when I accepted a pup from one of my daughters who couldn't handle her with her new baby.  I always have anxiety worrying if I can handle it then eventually realizing that everything was fine after all.

All of mine are indoor dogs.  I also don't feel right leaving them out, they are family members to me.  I would expect some accidents from her until she has adjusted, poor thing is also grieving, like we are.

I wish you the best of luck.  And I am also very sorry for your loss, we are in a very unfortunate club.

[KayC]

Have you taken her to the vet?  Make sure there isn't a reason she's peeing and also get some suggestions/feedback.  Also, it sounds like she may not have been housebroken yet, or maybe has reverted back due to the stress of changing owners/households, very hard on dogs!  They don't go where they have to lay, so if you have her in a *confined area of the house so she can't get away from that spot, she won't pee there.  Then take her outside to do her business, she should catch on.  My dogs housebroke quickly this way. Dogs do require effort, I walk mine twice a day without fail, I never miss no matter the weather or how tired I am...it's an added benefit to my health as my dog is the incentive to keep it up.  It's part of their experience, not only the exercise, but seeing/smelling different things.  

It does take a while to adjust to having a new dog in the house, just as it does for them too.  My dog is my life and I'm so glad I stuck it out through the puppy stage and all that goes through it.

*I used the entryway for the "confined area", put a child gate up, and the dog never once peed while there as it wouldn't be able to get away from it's own pee if it did. Only took a few days.

[Glolilly]

Thanks for all the comments, advice and suggestions, everything worked out just fine.

[KayC]

Glolilly, 

I know how hard it is to make it through the puppy stage, I adopted mine when he was one, and the whole next year was really hard as he chewed up EVERYTHING and scolding didn't help, neither did the Yuck spray I sprayed on things.  But I'm so glad I stuck it out, he's my soulmate in a dog, my joy, he's incentive to keep going, someone to love and enjoy, I can't imagine my existence without him!  I know I will have to adjust to losing someone once again when it's his time to go, that thought would terrify me but I try not to go there, and when it does happen I'll have to deal with it much the same way I had to deal with my loss of husband.  I imagine I'll get another dog in time.  My dog is now 10 1/2 and has Colitis so I have to cook for him, but otherwise in pretty good health...a  lot of cysts as that's his breed, but hopefully he won't get cancer.  

I hope and pray your dog brings you as much enjoyment and love as mine does.  Mine is goofy and give me many smiles!

[Sunflower2]

many people suggest getting a pet. In some situations this may work . In most it adds to the stress and grief process. Your reactions are natural. If it doesn't feel right don't stick it out,  Honor your personal needs. This is a hard a hard journey.

I personally am finding that any added responsibility is too much. I need the energy to simply survive and meet responsibilities that need to be met. That's me however. 

Re-evaluate your options.  there are many support groups that will provide a good home for your pet if you decide this is something you cant do at this time.  You did not fail. Do not feel feel guilty.  You are simply making choices that are the best for you at this time. 

[Glolilly]

Thank you Sunflower2 that was helpful as well. 

[KayC]

21 hours ago, Sunflower2 said:

many people suggest getting a pet. In some situations this may work . In most it adds to the stress and grief process

It can add to the stress if it's a puppy.  I already had a dog when George died, it took my daughter to point out Lucky's grief as I was puzzled by her acting out, normally she was so well behaved.  I guess I wasn't seeing much past my nose for my own grief.  I started paying more attention to Lucky and that helped us both.

After Lucky was put to sleep, I decided to get another dog a few months later.  This was 3 2/3 years after George passed, so I'd already had time for processing and adjustment.  My new dog, Arlie, was quite the handful as the rescue place lied to me about his medical conditions, age, weight, pretty much everything.  Turns out he was a puppy, even though huge, not housebroke, and had chronic health issues.  I would not trade him for the world!  He chewed his way through my house that first year, no furniture was left untouched, nor the trim on my house, my favorite dress, countless shoes, harnesses, all his toys, his bed, George's dream catcher (never figured out how he reached it as it was near the ceiling), 100 handmade cards, a book "Boundaries", the irony of which did not escape me...but I've learned to control his health issues, and he is my companion and best friend.  He is my incentive to keep going, he is great company and he's become a very good dog with lots of love and care.  They do take time and effort, not unlike a baby or child.  I'm not sure I'd adopt a puppy when newly grieving, maybe after a year or so and perhaps start with an adult dog that needs a home...one who is already housebroken and a little lower maintenance.  There are so many that need homes, you can afford to be picky and take your time looking for just the right one.  If you don't feel one you got is working out, don't feel guilty at rehoming them, better to do that than to resent the dog, better to place them in a home better suited to handle their special needs and give yourself the time and space to find the one that will work out better for you.