Dont know where to start

[btmetz1218]

I dont know where this message will end up, this is my first time doing anything like this, and I am not all that good on the computer. So if this does get posted I will need some advice to help me along here. Thanks for the post I have read so far. My name is Brian and I just recently lost my 28 year old son on Augest 7th 2010. He was living in Florida with his fiance, ya, he recently proposed and was suppose to have been married in April of 2011. He also just turned 28 on the 27th of July. My wife, (not his mother), had moved from Florida to the middle-east almost 1 year prior to his death. My daughter, 20 years of age had just came out from California to spend a few weeks with her brother and his fiance to help with wedding invitations. The seconed night, Alexis,(my daughter) was there, they were all hanging out and having fun, we all got on skype and laughed and everything seemed good. They all went to sleep that night and Alexis and Steph found him dead the next morning. The cause of death was Zanx and possibly mixed with other medication just stopped his heart. That just sucked the life right out of me. My wife Sarah and I have been clean for over 8 years now and Brian Jr. (my son), his fiance also has been clean for about the same. This is what makes this whole thing really twisted. I understand, he made the decision to take those pills and there is no one to blame. My wife, Steph,(fiance), and myself have been going to NA meetings and at one point my son was going and had a couple of years clean. He got his own place and a dog, then came a room mate, and thats when stopped going to meetings and had relapsed. He tried to keep it a secret because he did not want Steph or me to know. But his mother and sister knew, when he would go back to Cali.to visit he went by his self a few times and when his mother,(Linda) would come to Florida he would make sure that they had thier alone time together. Yes, I know Linda was on pills and had involved our son with helping her score some on one her visits to Florida. I am very angery at the lies and deceptions not only from the mother, but my daughter that I love more than life itself. Also the frickin doctors that freely write scripts for narcotics to anyone without some kinda of evaluation. And the drug companies and thier GREED that is so powerful it can buy votes that kill humans, and they could careless. I get depressed to the point I cant even move, then the next day I want to take on the world. I am soon to be 51 in Dec and with the holidays coming up my wife and I wont be able to make it back home this year, the expense from the trip back to bury my son was more than expected, as we had a memorial service in Florida and shipped his body home to Cali for the main services, and flew back to Florida than back to the middle-east. It was the longest drawn out funeral I have ever been through. I would like to get to know some of the other members on this site, I dont have anyone to relate to over here and I feel like I am about to go crazy at times. My poor wife,God bless her, she loved him like a son too and I take my anger out on her, its not as bad now but she dont deserve it when I do say mean things, it just comes out and I dont have much control at times. So please if anyone gets this walk me through this and let me know how it works. My email is btmetz1218@gmail.com and I thank you all again for the post I read..... Brian

[hotrod]

Hello Brian

A very sad welcome to our little group You are not alone any longer. I am so sorry for the loss of your very special precious son and truly understand your anger and sorrow .

I lost my only son Stephen 3 years ago and coming to this site saved my sanity Stephen was an active member of AA for 12 years until he too decided he did not need meetings, met the girl of his dreams and passed away in his sleep from an alcohol overdose. It still pains me to write that

. Your ,message ended up on a separate Board and few will respond Please go to the Loss of Child section of this Board then look for Loss of Adult Child section Click on that and then click on Reply button You will then post to that Board and will receive much support.

When you are able please tell us more about your son and post his picture he will be honored here with all our angels

[ModKonnie]

Brian,

I am so sorry for your terrible loss, but we welcome you here. You will find much support and encouragement as you travel your grief journey. I can see how you would be angry and anguished all at the same time. I hope you come often and talk as much as you want. We will be here to hear you.

ModKonnie