Members SugarPiesMom Posted July 19, 2018 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2018 I lost my Sugar Pie last Wednesday, July 11, 2018 at about 8:45 p.m. It started off with, what the vet diagnosed as, an upper respiratory infection. A week and a half later, I lost my baby. I don't want to find someone to blame, I just need to talk about how much I miss her and how painful it has been for me. I cry everyday, several times a day. I carry around one of her favorite toys, I wear her collar as a bracelet. I feel like I'm torturing myself doing these things but I just don't know what else to do. She used to sleep with me. She used to wake me up in the morning. I haven't slept in my bed the past few days. I have either slept on the couch or in the guest bedroom. I have gone out with friends a few times and smiled and laughed, but it is all on the surface. There is a constant pain in my chest. My whole body hurts. She was in the pet hospital the last three days of her life. I went and spent time with her as much as I was allowed. I know she was being well-cared for but I just wanted her home. She left her home and never came back and was in some strange place for the last days of her life. If I had been allowed to sleep there with her, I would have. I just miss her so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lennon my boy Posted July 19, 2018 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2018 2 hours ago, SugarPiesMom said: I lost my Sugar Pie last Wednesday, July 11, 2018 at about 8:45 p.m. It started off with, what the vet diagnosed as, an upper respiratory infection. A week and a half later, I lost my baby. I don't want to find someone to blame, I just need to talk about how much I miss her and how painful it has been for me. I cry everyday, several times a day. I carry around one of her favorite toys, I wear her collar as a bracelet. I feel like I'm torturing myself doing these things but I just don't know what else to do. She used to sleep with me. She used to wake me up in the morning. I haven't slept in my bed the past few days. I have either slept on the couch or in the guest bedroom. I have gone out with friends a few times and smiled and laughed, but it is all on the surface. There is a constant pain in my chest. My whole body hurts. She was in the pet hospital the last three days of her life. I went and spent time with her as much as I was allowed. I know she was being well-cared for but I just wanted her home. She left her home and never came back and was in some strange place for the last days of her life. If I had been allowed to sleep there with her, I would have. I just miss her so much. Sugerpiesmom am so sorry for ur loss you are going through the first stages of grief which hurts like hell for me the first 2 weeks was a total nightmare I was physically ill could barely eat and crying off and on everyday even at work I could hardly speak to anyone. I feel for you I really do for me I lost my beautiful black labrador Lennon to congestive heart failure just over 4 weeks ago. The pain is easing gradually but I miss him terribly I still have moments over overwhelming sadness and I let myself cry as much as I need to. For the first few weeks I blamed myself for letting him go and agreeing for him to be put to sleep I tried everything in my power to keep him with me but after 5 months of treatment I was told his heart was so bad he was going to have a heart attack I felt I had no other choice. It's has been the single most heart breaking decision I have ever made in my life. I feel ur pain and we just need to go through it as hard as it is as there is no other option. It does hurt less as the weeks go by to a point where it is just about manageable. I have buried lennon's ashes in my garden under his favourite tree and created a memorial plot and ordered a plaque with a message and his picture on it. I can visit Lennon there but it is extremely hard to contemplate where he is now I try not to think too much about this as it's too upsetting. My thoughts are with u, u are not alone try to stay strong. Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 19, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted July 19, 2018 8 hours ago, SugarPiesMom said: I wear her collar as a bracelet. I feel like I'm torturing myself doing these things You're processing your grief and that is healthy. I know it's painful, sometimes we have to go straight through the pain, live the pain, we can't circumvent it, in order for our grief to evolve as it needs to. 8 hours ago, SugarPiesMom said: I haven't slept in my bed the past few days. My husband died 13 years ago, I don't sleep on our bed, I sleep in the recliner. The bed is a reminder to me of his being gone, it was our place, now it is a guest bed. 8 hours ago, SugarPiesMom said: She left her home and never came back and was in some strange place for the last days of her life. That's hard, I know you wish you could have been there with her. She is beautiful, when I saw her picture my heart sunk knowing she's gone, knowing yet another person is going through this. I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you in your sorrow. I wish for you some comfort and peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BobIngersoll Posted July 19, 2018 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2018 Do not - DO NOT feel like anything you are doing is ridiculous. You do what ever you have to in order to survive the hurt of loss. We all are. I am almost three weeks past losing my Kato and I still weep daily - a 60 year old man crying over the loss of a 2 year old stray cat...every day... If you feel guilt, then go ahead and feel it. My guess, no words from us will assuage that feeling. All we can do is let you know that we all suffer as you. You are not alone. We all feel guilt, even if we did everything we could, we will always think we could have...should have, done more...done something more. SugarPie - what a wonderful little bundle of joy. I miss her and I didn't even know her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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