The story of Pufica

[InTheMemoryOfPufica]

July 13, 2:27PM, when a part of my soul died.

           Her name was Pufica, she was only 2 months old, and she sadly lost her mother after 4 weeks. I'm still unsure on where her mother is or if she is still alive...Pufica was a small kitten, we would keep her in a room along with her step-mother (we have another cat who was willing to take care of Pufica after her mother disappeared ), she was just like a normal kitten, she would play, purr, fool around and pretty much make everyone happy. But one morning, when I went to check her, I could notice that her eyes were watery, fast-forward a couple days I took her to the vet, they said it was nothing serious, gave her injections for about 6 days and said that in about 14 days she would be healthy again, got home  and my grandma was waiting for me to tell her that the kitten was okay. A few days go by, she starts feeling better, but then, I go outside to play with the cats and I notice Pufica laying on the ground, not moving at all. My heart dropped, I couldn't hear anything around and I imagined the worst. I ran towards her and I notice her eyes, staring at nothing, I picked her up and it felt as if she was freezing. I put on my shoes, called a taxi and in about 5 minutes I get to the emergency room, the vet and a few other assistants told me to leave her to them. 4 hours go by, I was standing in a chair, waiting for the vet, when finally he comes out and tells me she's stabilized. After that, they give me instructions on what I should do in order to help her heal, instructions which I followed without any mistake. The vet then told me to come daily so that my kitten will receive her medication, because she had multiple health issues (she only weighted 375 grams). I came to the vet for 7 days, she was finally eating and drinking, she started purring again, she would climb on me whenever I sat in my chair to use the computer, everything was perfect. Friday, July 13, I wake up, to see that she was missing from her place ( I made her own little area where she would constantly feel warm, by having warm water bottles around her wrapped in fabric, she was 1 meter away from the bed I was sleeping, in case she needed anything I would be able to provide faster.), then I look around my room and see her to the right side of my desk, laying face down, not moving. I was horrified, the thought which went through my mind was fear. I jump there, pick her up, to see her eyes watery, and her purring weaker than usual, and her body colder than the first time. I put on my shoes, call in a taxi, and in less than 5 minutes I arrive at the vet, her temperature was critical, she was anemic, and she was barely purring, for 2 hours I was by her side, the doctors did what they could, and at 2:20 the head doctor comes to tell me that my kitten needs a blood transfusion, I rush home with a taxi, pick my other cat to donate blood, and at 2:27PM I was 1 minute away from my kitten, then I get a call from the nurse, saying that she was sorry, but the kitten had stopped breathing. I close my phone and tell the driver to slow down, there's no need to rush anymore, my kitten was gone. The feeling I had in that moment was that of regret. I, a 19 year old guy, could say that I wasn't very manly in that moment. I arrive at thevet with the other cat, get inside, to see the doctors waiting for me, there were 10 other people with their animals there, who also had their own problems. Everyone was looking at me with a sad face, the moment I reached the surgery room I bursted out crying. I couldn't imagine how it was possible... I felt horrible, crouched down, and the memories I had with her started flashing in my mind. After 2 minutes the assistant comes with Pufica, in a small kitten box, and a small fabric over her, she was inside, laying peacefully.

              I cried so hard that my eyes were hurting, never in my life have I ever felt this bad, I've lost other cats, but this one was by far one of the worst moments I've had to go through. I took her, and took my other cat, got a taxi and arrived home, with my grandma waiting for me to tell her that Pufica was healthy; I didn't say a word, my eyes started tearing up again. I went outside and dug up a small grave, and made sure that all of her stuff are close to her...

           I'm sorry about the way this story is organised, but this is the order of the events which happened in three weeks, and I don't wish anyone to go through moments like this one alone, I did not have any moral support, and I did not ask for help or talk about it with anyone because I felt like this should only involve me and the kitten who was named after her mother on the day she passed away.

    Rest in peace my dear.

 

 

[CiCi]

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. I lost my pet on July 4th and I am still loss and hurting. I know it's going to take time. Even the memories hurt...but that is all we have until we can get past the trauma. ((((HUGS)))).

[BobIngersoll]

Your feelings are absolutely understandable and normal.  For some, those feelings dissipate in a matter of days, for others, it may take much longer.  All you can do is live through the hurt and cherish the memories of the little kitten you tried to help.

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss of your kitten, she had a short little life but knew she was loved and cared for.  And for what it's worth, I think a real man is strong enough in himself to show his emotions.

I agree with what the others have said...in the beginning memories bring pain but later on when you have had more time to adjust, the memories can change to ones of comfort.