My beautiful boy cat Spooks gone

[Bethspooks]

I had to say goodbye yesterday to the love of my life my 13 year old cat Spooks. I didn’t want one initially, I went through a bad breakup and my dad gave him to me. It was love at first sight. 3 years later I moved from Canada to England, 6 months later he followed. He’s been my constant, my shadow my beloved and now he’s gone. Sat morning he was normal, Sunday morning on a drip and sedated due to sudden kidney failure. I didn’t see it coming, how dare he not let me know sooner....I’m so mad. Had to make the excruciating decision yesterday to let him go while he was still sedated in my arms with my tears streaming down his face. Rocking him saying I’m so sorry I didn’t know. The grief is overwhelming, I live alone and every room is his. I don’t have any other friends who have cats so I feel so sad and alone. I haven’t left my bed....I don’t know what to do...

[Cheydin]

I'm so sorry Bethspooks. Sudden deaths are so jarring. I went on a camping trip - the whole while talking with my husband and daughter about my cat, Oreo, and the reaction he would have when we came home. Didn't ever occur to me he wouldn't be there when we got back. I went from having this cat, to not, in an hour. This is the first day since it happened that I haven't broken down into hysterical tears. 

[KayC]

@Bethspooks  I'm so sorry, I know it's hard, it hurts so bad to lose our companions.  Sudden death is hard, it doesn't give you a chance to absorb or process any of it, it's terrible shock.  I lost my husband to sudden death 13 years ago, it took a long time to process it, I miss him still, each and every day.  I've been through all kinds of loss, and the hardest next to my husband is my furry family members, they are so loyal, so loving, they're part of our everyday lives, we have so much shared history, it's really tough when they go.  I'm 65 now, I've had a lot of losses, it only seems to escalate the older we get.

You were with him when he went and I'm sure that brought him a lot of comfort, he knew how much you loved him and it had to give him a safe secure feeling.  They accept death so much easier than we do.  Maybe because they don't understand all that it means with their mind

For you and Spooks:.

 

[AJWCat]

I am so sorry for your loss of Spooks.  Cats seem to get sick so fast. Fine one minute and awful the next. It is said they hide illness as a protection mechanism. Anyway, I know how sad and devastated you are. I was when we lost our wonderful cat suddenly (it's a long story I won't drag you through) almost a year ago. The first few days were heartbreaking. I thought no one could understand until I came to this forum. We all share an unfortunate common bond. Our pets give us such joy - they are such a part of our daily life, when we lose them it's like losing a part of ourselves. I was lost ass well. I wish I could say something to ease your pain. Time is the only thing that heals. But you are not alone. We understand your grief. Try to remember the wonderful life you gave each other and that you were there til the very end - truest of love. If it helps, come here and write more to get it out - I sure did. 

[SpencerK]

Hi Beth,

Just want you to know, you are not alone - I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face as well.  My boy Megs went in to get his teeth done, sure he had been losing weight and was not himself - his purr got "croaky", but he was still rolling around on his back, still eating - not as much.  He was still licking my ear in the morning.  Well, we got a call from the vets at  2.00pm, saying his bloods were better - liver, kidneys fine.. Then they put him under to do his teeth, he started gagging as they were doing it, so took and Xray and found a huge tumour in this chest. I went in, he was just coming around scared, I put my hand on his head and starting talking, he purred and calmed down, then my partner started speaking - he was purring and nudging us, then she came in and put him down.

Like you, he was my everything, i do not go out - stay in a lot, worked form home 5 years, he was always here.  the place is so so quiet, I feel like I want to jump of a cliff, He was 17.

So you are not alone,

XXXX

[Valdandi]

Bethspooks, I know your pain so well.  I hope we both can get thru this. I said goodbye to the most wonderful cat ever, G, on July 6. I knew he was not feeling well for a few months but he was eating, eliminating, and grooming himself and everyone just kept telling me he was an elder cat now. (He was 15 in March). I had to go away for work for two weeks (last day July 4th). I kept bothering our cat sitter...the sweet guy, he kept sending photos...but even he noticed G wasn’t eating with the same gusto he had two summers ago (oh god, how he loved food!!). An experienced friend came over to visit G (again because I was so worried) and she was terrified by the deterioration he had undergone in 7 days. She got an appointment early on the 5th (I flew home that day, cutting my visit short) and the news was horrible. He was severely jaundiced, the blood work was all ****...bad liver, bad pancreas, bad red blood cell count...in fact everything except his kidneys (that was fine). His pulse and temp were fine also. They did an ultrasound (I’m sure they thought it was liver failure) and it turned out he had a giant tumor in his stomach...so big that it had stretched the stomach so thin that his stomach could rupture at any moment. There was absolutely no hope, no treatment. The only reason he came home that day was because I wasn’t there to allow the euthanasia that minute. My dear friend arranged for me the Lap of Love to come and do it at home on the 6th...so I got one more night with my precious, darling boy. I had to give him pain meds thru the night so he could sleep a little but he was so darling...I was crying uncontrollably and he put his head on my knee to comfort me, his paw on my hand. That morning he still wanted to eat (he really loved food) and I spooned Fancy Feast broth into his mouth and brought his water bowl to him. (He kept drinking water, too). He even got up at one point when I asked him if he was hungry and licked Fancy Feast broth from his little dish. But I knew it was the end because he hadn’t gone to the bathroom in 24 hours...so even his kidneys were shutting down. By the time the Lap of Love came he was so ready...it was just a second and he was gone. I had three friends there who had taken care of him over the years (I have traveled a great deal). They helped me so much...and all my friends have reached out to me (because who would have a friend unless they loved animals,too?).

I am so grateful that I have the resources to have at home euthanasia...G hated going to the vet...he was always very sweet with them...but so stressed by going that I couldn’t bear taking him to the vet unless it was his yearly checkup or he was really sick (I saved his life 4 times...3 times from misadventures and 1 from a blood thing). And the thought of him being assaulted but the smell and noises of the vet...and the clinical atmosphere was just devasting to me. I’m so lucky I could do it at home. I miss him...I miss him.

I know I will get another cat...I just pray I’m able to sooner than later. I miss him so so so so so so much.

[KayC]

@Valdandi  I'm sorry, I wish none of us had to lose these amazing furry family members.  It sounds like you handled it as best you can and made it easier on him.  I'm still missing my Miss Mocha from two years ago.  We adjust as well as we can but we still love and miss them.  I wish you peace and comfort.