I was holding her hand as her breathing stopped

[Sofia]

I was 14 years old. It was December of 2016. My mom was walking inside after getting home from work. She fell in the doorway and I assumed she just slipped on ice (we live in Chicago so the winters can be pretty bad.) My father and I go over to her to make sure she can get up. My mom was sweating and shaking and had thrown up on the floor, we called 911 and the ambulance came to check things out. They were taking her outside to the ambulance and all I remember is telling my mom it was going to be okay. Little did I know that was going to be the last thing I ever said to her. In my mind at the time I thought my mom just fell and she would be alright and we would be able to go home from the hospital later that night. My dad, sister and I drove behind the ambulance to the hospital sat down in the waiting room, waiting for a few minutes which seemed like hours to hear something from the doctors. I’ll never forgot what this doctor looked like, he was tall had orange hair and freckles all over his face, he was wearing green scrubs. He came over to us and told us very bluntly that my mom had a brain aneurysm and is brain dead. I remember walking into the hospital room where she was in and seeing her lay there. It seemed as if I was in a movie and this wasn’t real. I was in shock, I felt numb. They moved my mom to another room where they kept her on life support for 3 days. Those three days felt like 3 thousand years. Durring those 3 days my entire family came and stayed in that waiting room. My moms 9 siblings and 17 nieces and nephews were piled into that waiting room. I didn’t know what to do during those 3 days other than cry and be with my supportive family. On the 3rd day they took my mom off life support but her heart didn’t stop pumping blood for 5 more hours. Durring the night they moved my mom to a final room. They had her hooked up to so many machines, monitoring her heart rate and breathing. The next thing I know I’m holding her hand as her breaths are progressively get shorter and her heart monitor stops beeping. It’s been a year and a half since she passed away and I still think about her dying as I was holding her hand. The thought of my mom dying will never go away but I’ve learned how to understand what happened. I will always love my mom and I will always remember the time we had together. 

[reader]

Dear Sofia,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. You are incredibility mature and brave young woman for sharing your mom and story with us.

What you said is a beautiful way to honor your mom's memory.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.