2 Years on and I'm still struggling to cope

[Niamhjess00]

I lost my dad two years ago, when I was just 15. I didn't really accept what had happened for a few months and during that time I wasn't particularly sad or anything, I was just numb. A few months after he passed I began to grieve 'normally' I guess, I was sad, angry, crying all the time, etc. As time went by and I started to talk and seek help, things started to get a little easier. But over the recent months I have found that i am struggling more than ever. I miss my dad so much it physically hurts and I am finding it hard to comprehend that the end has happened and I won't see him again, he's gone. I feel so overwhelmed by all the things I am feeling and I often feel like i am moving backwards rather than forwards in terms of making progress through my grief. Is it normal to still be struggling after 2 years? I still can't believe that its even been 2 years, sometimes it feels like yesterday that we were sitting and having a chat. 

 

[reader]

Dear Niamjhess,

I feel like I could have written your post. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. I think everything you are feeling is normal and natural. I have read grief being compared to a wave and a rollercoaster. I do feel there are many stages. Its been a year and half for me and there are still days I'm like you and I just don't want to believe it. And then I go back to asking why? And having anger about everything leading up to my father's passing. Talking to my one counsellor they said it could take up to 5 years to feel more accepting of my loss. And another counsellor saying that 18 months is when people feel more stable. And others that say there is no fixed timeline. It is hard to integrate the loss into our lives and finding a way to carry on.

Please know we are here with you. Keep talking it out with us.

Thinking of you.