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3 y/o only child hit & killed by car.


Marleysmom

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September 29th 2017 is when my 3 year old son left this world. As I’m approaching 9 months of him being gone, I feel like it’s only getting worse. I’ve worked different jobs, tried a lot of different churches, support groups, etc but can’t keep it together. Looking at someone’s “grass being greener”, I am one of few (if any) I’ve met who lost their only child & unfortunately have no other children to keep some sort of “balance”. Does anyone have any advice on their first year & how they made it? One day it seems smooth, the next it seems impossible. I’m feeling like I’m “losing it” & can’t seem to think of how I’ll be able to live the rest of my life in any type of happiness. 

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Dear Marleysmom,

I think the first year of grief is incredibly difficult. We all do the best we can but its so hard. For myself, I tried my hardest to distract myself but there were still many tearful days.

This forum and reading articles from these websites offered me additional supports:

What's Your Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

Grief Recovery Method

GriefShare

Tiny Buddha

Grief in Common

Please know we are with you. Thinking of you.

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My girl is in heaven

Marleys mom.  Your right.  It is constantly in the hole, then out again, then back in.  It is a roller coaster that I think we are on for the rest of our lives .  But rest assured the ride gets a little smoother as you go.  I lost my 17 year old daughter seven years ago and I’ve been thru it all.  Dr had me drugged up for five years so I wasn’t feeling nothing.  Multiple suicide attempts, but some how I am still here.  I didn’t plan on being here 7 hours, days, weeks, months and certainly not seven years after I lost my daughter.  But yet I am.  There will be a thin scab that forms over your broken heart but it will be tugged at now and again as a trigger of some sort pops up every once in a while.  Just remember every time u crawl out of that hole, you are just a little bit stronger for it.  And the one or two pin holes of light will become more frequent.  Our  kids are ok now. We will see them again some day.  Just keep on taking a day, hour or even one minute at a time.  If you go to Loss of an adult child site,then go to the last page,  that is really for children of all ages and there are many kind and caring parents waiting to welcome you with open hands and hearts.  Hope to see you there.  Take care. 

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KJs Mommy Always

Marleysmom,

I feel for you, I really do. I just lost my son 9 days ago. He was 6 months. I haven’t been in this heartbreaking journey long but from what I’ve experienced it’s unbearable. I admire your strength for holding on after losing your son. I hope to have the strength that you all have. We’re all here for you. Just keep your head up no matter how hard it gets, please. I may need you to tell me that several times. 

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Virginia 82

I was referred to a book recently called "permission to grieve" I am 2 years 1 month and 20 days into my personal hell. Today was especially hard and it came out of the blue. There are no warning signs, you get triggered and the spiral begins. I've learned that you have to feel the way you feel, because if you bottle it and push out down, then this hole that we find ourselves in gets hard to get out. Talk about your baby to whomever will listen, it gets easier, but it does not get better. I miss my little every minute of every hour of every day. I still see her beautiful face when I closer my eyes. Most days I'm able to see it and remember that she was a gift and I appreciate that. Then, some days is hard to believe that she was "taken". Those are toxic moments when all I can feel is pain. We have to feel it though and recognize it for what it is. It's all that love we had that we suddenly feel like has nowhere to go. But, we love with our hearts and our minds and our souls and when we remember that, then it's not so bad. I wasn't in love her body, I was in love with her soul and that still exists somewhere. So just because you can't hold your baby doesn't mean he doesn't feel your love for him. 

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Tommy's mum

virginia82 like Louanne said please join us on loss of an adult child by Mom of Justin. It is at the top of the list of threads with the most views and replies. Just post on there and we will find you. We are all bereaved parents. It does not matter the age of your child we have parents who have lost babies, toddlers, elementary school, preteens, teens and adults. We are all in the same boat, at different stages of our journey and support each other. I am sorry you lost your precious daughter, the sadness is just so hard but the fact that you posted means you want to talk about her and share your story with others. In doing so you will find some healing although as you already know it takes a long time. i saw your other post about your new relationship. He does need to know what happened but you can tell him in small chunks as you are able to. Explain it is a daily struggle and that there are good days and bad days. He can learn to understand you, if he cares for you he will support you. Take care

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