Members yuyu Posted June 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2018 Almost end up my life yesterday........ I can't do it.... so weak on my part Am I afraid to die? No I am not. I know my wife is waiting for me but why I can't do it? All my reasons to live is already gone, why continue? why am I still here? Soooo depressing.............. damn life, damn people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tineke H Posted June 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 22, 2018 Yuyu,We had not heard from you for a while.I don't post much either at the moment, but I read posts most days.You are obviously feeling terrible the moment.Wanting to take your own life, but not doing it is not weak.Kay has said it many times in her posts that it is not so much that you want to end your life, but that you can't bear the thought of for ever feeling the way you feel now.Is there anyone you can ask for help?Are there support lines you can call?If none of the above, come here and post and someone will respond. Please don't take your own life.You are in my thoughts and big hugs.Tineke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 22, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 22, 2018 Yuyu, A good friend commit suicide five months ago. It devastated his family, and it hurts me still that we couldn't stop it. He was getting treatment for being suicidal, yet he couldn't seem to hold on. He'd lost his wife and four grandchildren in a relatively short period of time and it was too much for him to bear. No one can judge that, but oh god it has been so hard on his son and grandson and even his daughter-in-law! It nearly split their marriage (they're the ones who lost four kids), their older son has been in and out of children's psychiatric wards since, he blames himself for not being able to save his grandpa. I urge you to give this the necessary time to adjust to the changes it means for your life...it is neither quick nor easy, but you do still have life ahead of you, you just can't possibly see that from where you're at right now. My heart cries out to you to hold on and give it much more time. Please! I don't know if you're seeing a grief counselor or not, but I urge you to and if you are and it's not helping, find another one until you find one that helps you. It's essential you not try to navigate this alone. Family wants to help but doesn't begin to know where to start, they haven't been through it, don't even know what we're dealing with. It takes one to know one, it really does. Also a grief support group might be of help to know you're heard and understood, but that alone would not be enough. And always, call a suicide line if you're feeling it...there's no shame in how you're feeling, but oh God I don't want you to try to go it alone. Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members yuyu Posted June 25, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2018 Hi KayC, Again,thank you for the advise, my fault that last week I became so emotional and didn't think clear, ARGGHH sometimes I feel so alone that I forgot that there are people who care and love me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NoID Posted June 26, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 On 6/25/2018 at 6:30 PM, yuyu said: Again,thank you for the advise, my fault that last week I became so emotional and didn't think clear, ARGGHH sometimes I feel so alone that I forgot that there are people who care and love me. I feel that way too, losing that person who was our world, changes everything. Suddenly the way I view or think about life is different now more than ever before. Sometimes, I feel like giving up also & crossing over, more than ever when I feel alone & more than ever when I miss him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 26, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 22 hours ago, yuyu said: Hi KayC, Again,thank you for the advise, my fault that last week I became so emotional and didn't think clear, ARGGHH sometimes I feel so alone that I forgot that there are people who care and love me. Yuyu, that's the sad thing about suicide...someone can act in the overwhelming moment and not let themselves get past that moment when things might look up a little bit. Always give yourself the gift of another day! I have anxiety. I'm on the lowest dose of the safest medicine I could find, it doesn't fully alleviate the anxiety but it helps take the edge off. In the middle of the night though, things can look the darkest, I don't know why. I have learned that I have a better perspective in the morning. Sometimes I lose sleep. I'll give it a couple of hours to try to get back to sleep, and if I can't, then I get up and start my day early. This isn't easy, the intensity isn't as huge now as it was in the beginning, but I still have to deal with missing my husband and growing old alone. It's one day at a time. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 26, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 26, 2018 Yuyu, a good exercise is to at the end of each day remind yourself of what you would have missed that day if you had commit suicide beforehand. Maybe getting to spend time with your family, or having a good day, even reading a good book or seeing a friend...all of these count as our "little joys" that I like to make note of! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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