Members natalieirene Posted October 30, 2010 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2010 I am brand new to forums and am hoping this will help......It has only been 13 days since i lost my father and everyday it gets harder. The week of his passing i did not griev much. Infact i enjoyed that time with my close family. It was almost like celebrating a holiday. Now that i am home and back on schedule i have found everyday tasks daunting. I want to stay in bed all day, i don't even want to shower. My poor boyfriend and childern have to deal with me by walking on egg shells. I don't want to cook, clean or even take the kids to school. I do these tasks in fear of being a bad mother...but i do not do them whole heartedly. My father and i were very close. Infact i lived with he and his wife for the 1st four years of my daughters life. We just moved out recently when i purchased a house and moved in with my soon to be husband an his two boys. So not only did i loose my father, but my daughter lost her best friend. He had been retired for 5 years and provided full time daycare for her. I could go on about what a great guy he was and how many lives he touched...but i don't have it in me. I could describe the party we had to celebrate his life instead of a funeral....but that has gone and passed. What im having issues with.....is i can't call him. I cant stop by like i did all the time. I cant hear his voice and he wont be here to walk his youngest daugher down the aisle. All these feelings have left me depressed and frustrated. Im not a nice person anymore...and im afraid ill be like this for a long time. My boyfriend did not know him well enough to understand the loss of everyone that did know him well....im not even comfortable talking about this with him. i don't know what to do with myself anymore and its just the beginning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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