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We had his sevice yesterday


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The pain is so great i miss my son so much not only was i his mother i was his caregiver he was my everything my light he kept me sane sure i have other children and family but it as always me and him watching tv together reading our bible he kept me sane he was my rock when things went bad in reality he took care of me kept me strong my heart aches so last friday we were waiting for him to get out of surgery saturday sitting in his hospital room talking to him and sunday morning my baby is gone why i keep asking myself why my son he was 35 suffered with diabeties gastrolparesis high blood pressure seizures and dialysis plus a stroke which made him unable to walk why couldnt he be made well so he could enjoy life he got a popwer chair we made so many plans we were gonna go for walks go to a local restaurant to eat he wanted to have a picnic in our back yard for family and friends now thats all taken away and i dont understand why i just miss him so my heart is so broken i want my baby back i just want to hold him tell him how much i love him he hated that i had to take care of him but i would tell him its ok i hope he knew he was never a burden to me he was my everything nothing will ever be the same with out him my life is and empty shell he is my baby my baby i know he would want me to be happy for him he would say mom if i go first be happy for me im with His Most Holy High and i would say im going to go before you he would always say mom if you died i would go crazy they would have to put me in the crazy house because i love you so much and i couldnt live with out you now here iam going crazy because i miss him so 

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