Almost 2 years since loss of sister

[Herheo]

Just found this forum, and needed to get some input.

It was a day almost 2 years ago that I will never forget. Our family, spread out over the country, was getting together for a week at a cabin on a lake. I got a message from a friend of my sisters, saying she never showed up. She was going to spend the night there, before making the last part of the trip to meet everyone. After a frantic hour with many calls to my parents, we eventually received word that her and her fiancé were crushed by a semi who failed to slow down in a construction zone. They were in their 20s. The next couple weeks was a blur. Trying to be as unbiased as possible, she was one of the kindest, most loving, person you could ever meet. I learned 100 stories in the next month from people remembering the good she did in there lives, and the positive impact she had, on top of the hundreds I’d seen firsthand.

I guess the reason I’m writing something is to see if it ever gets better. I keep hoping time will heal, but whenever I’m alone, I flashback to that night, I flashback to all the memories of her, and I keep wondering why her. I get pissed at the truck driver, who got off with “failure to yield in a construction zone” even though he ended the lives of three people that day. I have an amazing family unit that support each other 100%, but it just seems like nothing is get better. These last 2 years have been the toughest of my life, and I don’t feel them getting any better. I guess I’m just looking for any advice. Thanks for your time.

[Newton23]

Like you, it'll be almost two years since I lost my sister in a car accident involving a semi-truck.  Another car cut my sister's car off on the highway, sending her and her friend spinning into oncoming traffic.  To say that my mother and I were devastated is an understatement.  We've spent the last two years in a fugue, it seems, barely leaving the house.  It had always just been the three of us - my sister, our mother and I.  We were in shock, which gave way to depression, and now it seems like most everyone has come to terms with her loss, but my mother and I still grieve daily.  

I can't say for sure if it ever gets better as I, too, am only two years down this terrible road.  Personally, I don't believe that the pain will ever lessen, but that we'll get better at handling the pain, if that makes sense.  It seems like how much I loved my sister is how much it hurts now that she's gone.  I've spoken with others who have lost loved ones, and though they still function daily, their hearts still ache.  

My mother is certain that my sister is safe, in another place where she is loved and waiting for us.  This idea gives me a lot of comfort.  I still prefer to take things a day at a time, and that lets me know that while today may be a bad day, tomorrow might be better.  I'm hoping for healing for you and your family.  I'm truly sorry for your loss.