Members Stonesie Posted May 30, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 I was starting to have a few better days here and there. My granddaughter was born April 18th. She is beautiful. And she has Kevin's eyes. It's actually kind of startling. I'm not the only one who can see it - others have mentioned it without me pointing it out - at least it's not my imagination. He should be here with me to enjoy both of our children, and our two grandbabies. What I have noticed lately is that when I think I am doing alright (not great obviously, I think that ship has sailed, I'll never be who I was)...I fall back down. Far, far down. Into grief, just as bad as it was right when he died. It's like zero progress has been made. I just wonder how I am going to get through what remains of my life. It never gets better. But..I'm still here, still drawing breath. Figured I'd poke around and check in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 30, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 Hi Stonesie, I'm glad you get to see his eyes again. My grandchildren are definite incentive, kind of mixed bag though because I wish George could be here to share in the enjoyment of them. They also don't live nearby so I usually only see them once a month, but they're precious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stonesie Posted June 1, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 1, 2018 On 5/30/2018 at 9:46 AM, KayC said: Hi Stonesie, I'm glad you get to see his eyes again. My grandchildren are definite incentive, kind of mixed bag though because I wish George could be here to share in the enjoyment of them. They also don't live nearby so I usually only see them once a month, but they're precious. It IS a mixed bag...glad to hear someone else sees it that way too. They are still wonderful though. I try hard to hang onto that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 1, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 1, 2018 I'm leaving this morning to go visit mine for a couple of days. I'm not able to be away in the winter, so I look forward to seeing them...hoping I can keep up with them! When George died, my son came home from the Air Force and he told me, "I can't speak for my sister, but I intend to have grandchildren for you someday...of course, first I have to get a date..." That brought a smile to my face! And now all these years later it's happened. My daughter lost her's, my son and his wife lost one too, but now we have a 3 year old and a 1 year old to enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeannC45 Posted June 2, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2018 My sister had a son the same day my husband passed away. Now his birthday and the anniversary of my husband's death are markers that I will live with forever. My sister actually said she was sorry that his birthday will bring me grief & I told her please don't say that. I was given someone new to love the same day the love of my life was taken. Sometimes the pictures my sister sends me of my nephew are the only thing that brings a smile to my face. It truly is remarkable how life works. Thank you for sharing your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 3, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 3, 2018 Leann, That is a good way of looking at it. Thank you for sharing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stonesie Posted June 5, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 5, 2018 On 6/1/2018 at 10:09 AM, KayC said: I'm leaving this morning to go visit mine for a couple of days. I'm not able to be away in the winter, so I look forward to seeing them...hoping I can keep up with them! When George died, my son came home from the Air Force and he told me, "I can't speak for my sister, but I intend to have grandchildren for you someday...of course, first I have to get a date..." That brought a smile to my face! And now all these years later it's happened. My daughter lost her's, my son and his wife lost one too, but now we have a 3 year old and a 1 year old to enjoy! That is so sweet. Like you said before it's a a mixed bag, but still so good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stonesie Posted June 5, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 5, 2018 On 6/2/2018 at 1:43 PM, LeannC45 said: My sister had a son the same day my husband passed away. Now his birthday and the anniversary of my husband's death are markers that I will live with forever. My sister actually said she was sorry that his birthday will bring me grief & I told her please don't say that. I was given someone new to love the same day the love of my life was taken. Sometimes the pictures my sister sends me of my nephew are the only thing that brings a smile to my face. It truly is remarkable how life works. Thank you for sharing your story. Anything that will bring a smile on that hard day is very very special. Thank you to both you and KayC for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jmassry Posted June 5, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 5, 2018 I lost my husband last Tuesday and my birthday was yesterday well on the 4th. And I'm having a really hard time I'm only 21 and I'm at the point I feel so alone and I dont understand anything after everything I felt okay for a little while but every night when it comes time to go to bed I cant help but cry and I dont know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 5, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 5, 2018 Stonsie, Here we are on our hike at Silver Falls, my little grands & me (my son's taking the picture). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 5, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 5, 2018 6 hours ago, Jmassry said: I lost my husband last Tuesday and my birthday was yesterday well on the 4th. And I'm having a really hard time I'm only 21 and I'm at the point I feel so alone and I dont understand anything after everything I felt okay for a little while but every night when it comes time to go to bed I cant help but cry and I dont know what to do. Jmassry, I am so sorry for your loss. I swear the younger it happens the harder it seems, a whole lot of living left undone. You have a lot of company here, there are many other young people, I hope you will do some reading on this site to know you are not alone in what you're going through. Nighttime seems the hardest, and weekends. I am sorry you went through your birthday without him, had to be hard. I cried myself to sleep my first birthday without my George. I hope you have supportive family and friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stonesie Posted June 8, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2018 On 6/5/2018 at 8:46 AM, KayC said: Stonsie, Here we are on our hike at Silver Falls, my little grands & me (my son's taking the picture). Oh my gosh they are so cute. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stonesie Posted June 8, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2018 On 6/5/2018 at 2:27 AM, Jmassry said: I lost my husband last Tuesday and my birthday was yesterday well on the 4th. And I'm having a really hard time I'm only 21 and I'm at the point I feel so alone and I dont understand anything after everything I felt okay for a little while but every night when it comes time to go to bed I cant help but cry and I dont know what to do. I understand the bedtime thing. I still after a year and a half am sad at bedtime because he isn't there. All you can do is if you have to cry, CRY. I usually feel a little relief after a cry even though I'm not really less sad. For you this is incredibly fresh, JUST happened. Thinking of you, am so sorry for your loss. This isn't a fun club to belong to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tamimi Posted June 8, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2018 On 6/5/2018 at 5:46 AM, KayC said: Stonsie, Here we are on our hike at Silver Falls, my little grands & me (my son's taking the picture). Silver Falls! My husbands and my last camping trip last October was there. Bittersweet memory. We're about 1.5hrs away. Cute picture with a happy grandma! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 8, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 8, 2018 Oh wow, so close! I'm in Oakridge, southeast of Eugene. My son is in Aumsville, about 9 miles from Salem, so he's maybe an hour at the most from Silver Falls, very pretty there! I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend with the grandkids and him. These are the bright spots in our lives that we are left with. To the young people who have lost their spouse and they haven't had kids, I want to tell you that there WILL be bright spots in your life. I went many years after George died before grandkids came along, I didn't know if I'd ever have any, none of my sisters do, but we look for and find something good in life, no matter how small or fleeting, everything good is due it's just due as something good in our life, to be embraced and enjoyed for what it is. It takes effort and time to get to this, but we can if we're willing to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stonesie Posted June 13, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 13, 2018 KayC, you really are an inspiration to us here. Even though you are still suffering you show people that there is hope for some happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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