Members Brighteyes2 Posted May 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2018 I’m not sure why I’m writing this but I just feel I can’t keep this jumble of emotions in my head any longer. I lost my mum when I was 22 (I’m 36) and my dad has just been given a terminal prognosis and has about a year they think. Having grieved for mum, I know that it does get easier but obviously not a day goes by where I don’t miss her and feel so so sad for what she didn’t get to see- her only child get married, two beautiful grandchildren. Dad really stepped up when she was sick and we have had a lovely relationship, even after he remarried (I’m not keen on her but that’s not my concern) and he is the most doting grandfather in the world, he adores my children and the feeling is mutual. Now he has been diagnosed with advanced cancer and I am so scared of him getting poorly, I don’t want to see him suffer like mum did. And I keep thinking how unfair it is and that I don’t know anyone as young as me who has lost both parents. I’m sure there are people out there, and deep down I know it’s not even relevant but I just want to scream at the injustice. My husbands parents aren’t particularly interested in us, and live in another country, and the thought that no one will be interested in what the kids are doing or how they are growing breaks my heart. And that they won’t remember how much their grandpa loved them (they’re only 2&3). I am keeping it together for the kids during the day, life is an normal as I can make it, and when grandpa starts looking visibly poorly I’ll have to tackle it with the kids and get them to be a bit gentler with him, no more pony rides around the living room. But when they are in bed, I am just overwhelmed with sadness. I can’t think of another word, it’s so heavy, I just feel weighed down. I know life will go on without him, and I know I will be happy for the kids, but it just feels so horrible now. He won’t talk about it, the one time we attempted it he started crying and that is so upsetting. I’m trying to find things to be grateful for but it’s so hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Margi Posted May 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2018 I’m so sorry for your pain. I know exactly what you mean about your kids. Your parents are the ones who want to hear every detail about their lives. It’s hard to think of not having anyone to share those things with that cares as much as parents do. <Hugs> You’re not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted May 28, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2018 Dear Brighteyes2, I hear you. It's so hard. We love our parents so much and it was my greatest wish too that my dad could see his grandson and granddaughter grow up a little more. Thinking of you and your family during this sad and difficult time. Please know we are with you and we are all here listening and supporting each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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