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my gorgeous boy


jacquelina

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jacquelina
Posted

grieve has just hit me like a tidal wave... it has been 2 weeks I thought I was dealing with it .. a just remember my boys last minutes he looked so helpless... 

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Posted

Many times we've said on this forum, healing from this loss is one step forward two steps back. I'm sorry you got hit - it happens. Those last moments are so tough. He knew you were there with him and you helped him find peace.

I remember 2 weeks seemed to go fast and yet seemed impossible that I had been without my sweet cat for that long. A long time to be so sad. I wish I could say something of extra special comfort. I know exactly where you are, I was right there at that time, and I am so sorry. :(         

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jacquelina
Posted

thank you... just to know this Is ok normal kind of thing I thought I was right back to day 1... I felt calmer after I cried, sad but calmer, the last day kept playing over in my mind I didn't know whether to let It play or shut it out, its early days I know, your kind words mean a lot to me at this time.

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Posted

Good. I replayed it a lot because I think we almost have to process. The brain wants to make sure it's real or whatever... who knows. But then it can go too far. It can become destructive and I saw myself going there that way after a few weeks. I realized I was just torching myself for no reason. You are likely just processing too. 2 weeks is early. Slowly allow yourself, or make yourself, think about all the wonderful, happy, silly, best moments. You will eventually smile instead of cry. 

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jacquelina
Posted

many thanks AJWCat for your time, kind words, wisdom and understanding... .it has helped me through the worst.

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Posted

It's like a roller coaster, up, down, someone likened it to tidal waves, so true.  We can be doing well, going along, and all of a sudden out of nowhere it hits again, slam!  I've learned not to fight it, let the pain and tears flow, it will subside, then continue on.  It's such a process!

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jacquelina
Posted

it good to know this pain of loss  will pass, and my feeling are quite normal..as I right this tears flowing again, il let them flow for my boy.

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Posted

I feel your pain , its been two weeks for me too ... one moment i think ok i must have grieved i feel bit better and then few hours later the flood gates guilt sadness just pour out , every day every couple of hours. As hard as it is, think of how special you made his life and he was lucky he had a wonderful caring owner and think of the happy funny times together, some have long lives but were never as happy as yours. See I'm crying now! but don't hold emotions in ... cry cry  feel the pain the heartache mourn for your boy... you can't keep it in its natural.. you will one day, like me,  come through the other side ( seems impossible right now i know) 

I have created a large canvas print with lots of pics of my boy and i though i would break down seeing all the time, but it has helped as he will never be out of my thoughts .

"sometimes grief is like an ocean, it can be so calm and then the next can be overwhelmed like waves, all we can do is learn to swim"

 

 

 

 

 

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jacquelina
Posted

thank you emma, he was 11 years 2 months I have googled is that a long life for a Labrador... I hope so, he couldn't have been any more loved...his favourite toy is in our bed, my partner loved him as much as me he seems to be baring up a bit better than me now so don't want to be breaking down in front of him... thanks for understanding.

  • Moderators
Posted

I still grieve my granddoggy, Skye, and he's been gone 4 1/2 years.  I don't cry visibly anymore, but my heart still does on the inside.  He was such a special dog, I've never seen another like him, nor ever will.  He was simple, like a down syndrome child, completely guileless and sweet.  I loved everything about him.  I cherish each moment I had with him...I had him here with me for half of his life, when my son was staying with me, when he was working in New York, his first year in college, summers and breaks, and because he lived with me he felt like he was mine too.  And he loved his grandma.  Even when my son had moved away and was working long hours, I'd stop at his place and get Skye for a walk and feed him...he'd be so happy to see me!  These memories, they never go away.  Even my dog Arlie misses Skye.  If I play a video of him making his sounds, Arlie runs to the patio door to look for him.  

We will all be grieving our special pets for a very long time, it's a process...but it won't all be as painful as it was in the early days.  I can remember Lucky without pain, she's been gone 9 1/2 years.  The timeline is different for each one.

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