Lost my wife.

[Max Walter]

My name is Max Walter, and my mum is Irish, i live and work in the US. Its been 5 years since i lost my wife Lisa, and i have been able to date any woman, not because they are not beautiful, but because i find it hard for me to believe she's no more. she was my first love.

[reader]

Dear Max,

Sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved wife.

Have you considered talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group in the community or through church. Grief takes a toll. I know for myself I needed help in understanding my thoughts and feelings.

Please don't feel any pressure to date or move on. We all have to go at our own pace. But maybe consider talking to a counsellor or family therapist. It might help to have a trusted person to talk to and work through your thoughts and feelings.

 

 

[ModHerc]

Hi Max,

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel, my wife passed at Christmas 2016, and while I still find women attractive, I doubt I will ever date again.  My wife and I actually talked about it during the extended illness she suffered, and she told me she wanted me to find someone else, but now that I am in the situation I just don’t want to.  I know society pushes us to look for another, but as far as I am concerned “society” can keep its opinion to itself.

Some people really think that finding “someone else” will help us, but I think the majority of people just want to see us with someone new so they can convince themselves that we have “moved on”.  It is uncomfortable for others to see people grieve.  And once again, that is their problem not mine.

I’m not going to say I’ll never date again, who knows what the future may hold.  What I will say is that you shouldn’t feel pressure from anyone about any facet of your grief journey, particularly your love life.  Hoping you find some comfort in the words,

Herc

Oh also there is another section of the forum “Loss of a Partner”, most of us who have lost a spouse post over there.  You are welcome to post any where you want of course, but you may miss some good opinions, and sympathetic understanding people who are going through experiences similar to yours if you don’t say something over there as well.

[Tracey 9]

Max I am so sorry for the loss of your wife send my thoughts.

[Abagael]

Hello there,

I am sorry for the loss of your wife.
I can tell she mean't a lot to you.
Have you tried counselling, Or joining a support group?