My high school graduation is coming soon and I miss my dad.

[Guest]

I don’t really know how I came across this site but I need someone who understands. I’m 18 and My dad died about a year ago, we didn’t get to see each other much the last few years and I regret it so so so much. He always called me the “light of his life”, he struggled with alcoholism and it was really hard. I miss him so much and regret not answering texts faster or calls   Almost everything reminds me of my dad and I almost start crying in public so many times everyday feeling so overwhelmed. If I see a guy on a bike I think of him, if I eat spaghetti I think about him, when I hear certain songs I think about him, seeing girls with their dads I think about him, the lists goes on forever. But it’s an overwhelming feeling that I have to stop myself from crying constantly, especially when I’m at work.  My friends always mention their dads and must forget or don’t understand that it really hurts me, like an actual burning feeling in my chest every time.  Graduation is coming soon and I’m so torn up he can’t be there... and that always makes me think about what about when I get married and have kids.... I need someone to talk to.

[reader]

Dear Emily,

I'm very sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know it hurts a lot.  Please know that everything you are thinking and feeling is normal and natural part of grief.

Everything reminds me of my dad too. I even wanted to move away to avoid my grief.

I know you mentioned its been a year. Have you tried talking to a grief counselor? School counselor? Maybe consider joining a support group in the community or through church.

I'm sorry your dad can't be there for your graduation. Maybe you could carry a small picture of him in your pocket. Find some way to include him in your special day. I'm sure he is looking out for you and thinking of you.

Please know we are here with you.

Thinking of you.

[Guest]

Thank you it means a lot. Yes I have a counselor and she’s great but for some reason when she brings him up I shut off and I try to avoid it so I don’t cry. And that is a good idea to take a picture of him thank you. 

[Stephie68]

Dear Emily,

I lost my dad when I was 14, so I know what you are going through.  I can only tell you it does get better with time, but the hurt never really goes away.  I still carry a picture of him in my wallet and it's been 35 years since he died unexpectedly of a heart attack.  I remember my friends looking at me with a sorry expression on their faces.  They meant well, but really didn't know what to do or say.  When you're a teenager, you're experiencing a myriad of different emotions and it's a difficult time, made even more so with the death of a parent.  Please try to remember the good times with your dad.  It's a great idea to write in a journal daily; I know it helped me.  Finding a good counselor is also key; it's beneficial to have someone outside of your family who can help you.  Of course, your mom and close friends will be there for you too.  I hope my post helps.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.