Members JeanM Posted May 12, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2018 Thursday night when my girlfriend pulled into the driveway just as she was putting the car into park, she somehow ran over one of our dogs, my sweet Eddie, a funny, intelligent, sweet, loving Australian Cattle Dog not yet two years old. I heard him screaming in pain and ran outside to see him draw his last breath as blood came out of his mouth. Oh, it was just the worst thing I have ever seen. We were both screaming and crying and our two other dogs were howling. They were out there and saw what happened, too. We have a farm, and she called one of the helpers to help her bury him while I brought the other two dogs inside to try to calm them down. My lab, who was the closest to Eddie, jumped onto my bed and started stress-panting. She kept it up for two hours. The other pup, Ruby, also an ACD, jumped into bed too and just almost went into a trance or something. Her body was limp. Both of them were glassy-eyed. I don't have anyone to talk to. She doesn't want to see me upset. She said I need to be there for her because she can't bear to see me upset when she knows it's all her fault. So I am trying to be tough for her and to not get the two remaining dogs upset. Nobody is back to normal yet. Today, I feel angry that my gf did not just stop the car when the dogs ran out to greet her. That is what I do. Or if I'm up at the top of the lane to the farm, I just let the dogs jump in with me. She has always said, "They'll get out of the way." Well, obviously that isn't true and I've known that not to be true all along. The two cattle dogs well they're herders, and their instinct is to go for the tires. My lab just wags her tail and runs alongside, but I know she is also at risk. So that's why I don't try to drive if they're out there. I just don't know what to do. I'm including a photo of Eddie in my car one day when I stopped to let them all in as I said. I am lonely and sad and want to yell at her for killing him. I know she is hurting, too, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted May 12, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 12, 2018 Oh my gosh I am heart broken for you guys. So sorry. Nothing I can say is going to ease this pain. That said, this was a terrible accident. And sadly, accidents do happen and it just happens so fast. As much as you are mad and hurting you know she feels just as bad if not more. People feel tremendous guilt when they lose an animal and it had zero to do with them. So her guilt must be massive. Obviously her intent was never to hurt the dog, the sooner you can forgive her and she can forgive herself, you guys can heal and deal with this. Even if there is a part of you that doesn't want to, forgiving can help you let it go. Talk it out. It requires massive compassion on your part for her. But nothing you do now can fix it. But you can grieve your sweet dog, survive and learn from this. Also just reading your story, such trauma and shock, try to be patient with yourself, her, your other dogs. Everyone grieves in their own way and time. It may feel like you can't get through it but you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 13, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted May 13, 2018 I am so sorry she didn't listen to you before when you tried to tell her 18 hours ago, JeanM said: "They'll get out of the way." but sadly that is a fallacy, she knows that now. What a price to pay! As AJWCat said, it wasn't her intent to kill your dog, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her. I can't express to you enough how much I am sorry you lost him, I am sorry he was in so much pain, I am sorry for the inner hurt this has caused all of you, including your other dogs. There is no way around the grief but straight through it, pain and all, and the missing your dog will continue...in time we learn to live with it, but oh god it takes time to get there. Be patient with yourself, with your GF, try to be understanding and forgiving. It's hard, I know. Tragedies like this are the hardest. There are a lot of articles on pet loss here, I hope you find something that is of help to you. It may warrant some grief counseling to resolve.https://www.griefhealingblog.com/p/pet-loss-articles.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JeanM Posted May 14, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted May 14, 2018 Thank you all for reading what happened and for saying good things. I am already in therapy and am going to see my therapist today. I need to talk with her about this, my anger, and how to get through this. If I can do it without crying. I appreciate the help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 15, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 I hope you'll let us know how it goes. I do think a professional would be recommended under the circumstances, very hard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted May 15, 2018 Members Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 Good that you are talking to someone. It's okay to cry, get it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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