Lost my mom two nights ago. Everything feels surreal.

[Crystel]

I just found out about my mom's passing yesterday morning. When I woke up around 6:30 in the morning I checked my phone to see what time it was. I saw that I had 4 missed calls from my mom's phone so I got up right away and called back. A lady whose voice I didn't recognize answered. She told me that she had tried to call everyone last night but couldent get a hold of anyone until I called. I started to get really worried. Then she said it. My mom passed away. The words I've been dreading all my life. All at once I started bawling my eyes out.  I was the first one that found out that my mom died. I let her go and tried to call my family (my dad and aunt) after I calmed down. I couldn't get a hold of anyone so I had my friend bring me to my dads house. I tried knocking I the door 10 times so a neighbor went over and knocked on my aunts door. My aunt came over and forced my dads door open. Then I told my dad. 

I only really cried twice yesterday. Now its the morning after and I'm just lying in bed typing all this. I honestly dont know how I feel right now. So far I've just been feeling numb/neutral. It all just feels so surreal. 

[reader]

Dear Crystel,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know its really hard.

I hear you. It really doesn't feel real in the first few days, weeks and even months.

I hope you have trusted friends and family you can lean on. Please know you are not alone.

Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.